Ordinary Day

I got the call this morning from the RN at Evergreen’s breast center, who told me that the results are clean, and that they are likely just the results of passing benign cysts that just sometimes happen in breast tissue.

I told her she’d just handed me one HELL of a birthday present and thanked her profusely. :~) You guys, I don’t even WORDS for how relieved I am, and I’m a goddamn novelist. Coming up with words is what I do!

Mirrored from angelahighland.com.

I posted a bit about this on the social networks, but here’s a somewhat longer report.

What I went in for this morning at Evergreen was a stereotactic biopsy. Which basically means, a minimally invasive procedure in which they use targeted imaging and a thin needle. I had to lay face down on a table with a hole in it, so as to let them get at the tissue they needed to get at. And they shot me up with three different kinds of numbing agents, which was good; otherwise all the various pokings and proddings would have been a lot more uncomfortable than they actually were.

The doctor and the nurse tech (Dr. Shook and Jennifer, respectively, as they introduced themselves to me) who did the procedure looked pretty familiar to me, once I showed up, from the first round of fun I had with this. Which would be almost amusing if not for the whole “not wanting to do this again” thing, but hey. They’re good people and they do their job well.

And their job was done well this morning, thankfully. There was some concern about their being able to get to the tissue they needed to get to, given that the calcifications in question were so tiny that that might have been a problem. But they came in from the underside of my breast, and got a good track to the calcifications–so they did get the samples that they needed. And they promised to fast-track the samples through Pathology, so as to hopefully have them for me when I come in to talk to Dr. Towbin tomorrow. (Dr. Towbin, comma, who I also remember from the previous round of fun; kinda difficult to not remember the surgeon who does major surgery on you, even five years after the fact.) I asked them to yes, please, do try to get me the results before Wednesday, since if it’s going to be bad news, I’d just as soon NOT get it on my birthday, thanks.

So. All things considered, it went as well as possible. When they were done they took a couple of quick mammogram images, and sent me home with a yellow rose.

I’m under instructions to take acetaminophen as needed for pain, and to ice the affected area for the next couple of days. I’ve been having trouble keeping my mental ducks in a row for most of the afternoon, and had to zonk out for a while; but then, I did just have a biopsy done, and I’m still kind of stressy and just waiting for whether the shoe is going to drop tomorrow morning. So I’m trying to cut myself a little bit of slack on that even as I’m trying to get work done, both for the day job and for the writing.

More bulletins as events warrant.

Mirrored from angelahighland.com.

Just the other day I was posting to the social networks that I’d just realized that I’d passed the five-year mark since my original breast cancer diagnosis in 2007, and was closing in on five years since I’d been pronounced cancer-free and had commenced reconstruction surgery. (All that got started in 2008, until everything was finished off in 2009.)

I’d just had my latest mammogram this past week, and was expecting it to be routine. They’ve been having me in for regular mammograms ever since the 2007-2009 excitements, and they’ve been keeping a really, really sharp eye on me in general.

Which means that when they see things like new calcifications in a mammogram, this trips all their alarms.

Calcifications in the breast, for those of you who don’t know, are one of the very early warning indicators of breast cancer. They are in fact what got me started on the first round of fun, with my first mammogram back in 2007. Apparently now I have some new ones–this time on the left side.

They are very tiny, only 3mm in size. But the fact that they’re there at all, given my history, is suspicious. So the team at Evergreen has scheduled me for a biopsy next week to see if they can get a better look at them. Since the calcifications in question are so tiny, however, a biopsy might not even work. In that event, we punt to Plan B–sending me to the same surgeon I worked with before, who’d take out the suspicious area. The biopsy is scheduled for Monday. The backup surgeon visit is scheduled for Tuesday.

And Wednesday is my birthday. Which means I get a biopsy for my birthday. And another possible round of DCIS, depending on how this goes. I don’t mind telling you, Internets, I’m really nervous about this, because really not in the mood to do this again.

All good thoughts, crossed fingers, prayers, lit candles, fluffy small cute creatures, awesome bouzouki players, podorythmic fiddle players, or crack ninja assassin teams to take out whatever gnomes have dedicated themselves to taking over what’s left of my breasts would be most appreciated. If I have to do this again, though, at least this time my choices will be much clearer. If there’s anything going on on the left, we’ll be going straight to mastectomy.

More bulletins as events warrant.

Mirrored from angelahighland.com.

I went in for my semi-annual checkup with my endoc this evening, the last holdout of my adventures with the BFFN. Which went well, as expected, though I had to sheepishly explain to Dr. Kohn that I was ragged around my edges thanks to dental surgery AND fighting off a cold. And on the way out, I added to her that I had learned from all my experiences with cancer how to tell when my pain tolerances were maxed out, and that I’d be heading home to lie down.

Which is all true. In the last couple of years I’ve gotten way better at telling when my system has been overloaded due to pain–which historically I’ve always had a problem with. I’m usually able to shrug off minor pain, until it builds and builds and eventually suddenly POW, I’m tired and cranky and nauseous and out of cope. That kind of pain is almost more draining than the blatant, outright agony of something on the scale of oh, say, breaking my arm (still my benchmark for Worst Pain I’ve Ever Been In).

All of which is a roundabout way of me deciding I should probably ask my dentist for a refill of the painkiller. My personal supply of cope has been stressed this week, even with preventive measures of working from home for two days in a row so I could continue to recover but keep working at the same time. I’ve been fighting off that cold, which impacts my reserves. And we’re about to head into an Excessive Heat Warning situation starting tomorrow, which is also not fun for my reserves.

So yeah. Surgery recovery + cold + high heat = I’d better call the dentist in the morning and ask for more painkiller. A decision part of me is chagrined about even with my more mature self-awareness about my medical limits–even with that, there’s an instinct of “I should just be able to handle the pain! I’ll be OKAY!”

Even now, it requires swallowing a bit of pride to be able to let myself say, “Actually, it’s OKAY to admit that I’m in pain and that I need a bit of assistance managing it. That is, in fact, the wise thing to do!”

This post goes out to all my Internet friends who face similar changes on a daily basis, or to those whose loved ones do so as well. This is me saying yeah, I hear you. And also, take care of yourselves and your loved ones! Especially if you’re in the Seattle area, and you have no air conditioning, and you’re joining me in facing the 90F+ heat adventures tomorrow.

Mirrored from annathepiper.org.

I thought I was going to have little to say on this, but apparently I was mistaken. This is what I get for this whole month being one long hammering of breast cancer breast cancer breast cancer breast cancer for me so far, and it’s not even half over yet.

All you folks asking your online friends to post status updates and/or wear pink or whatever, your hearts are in the right place, but I implore you: if you really want to do something to help fight not only breast cancer but cancer in general, then what would really be best if you donated to the cause. Find whatever means of donation works for you. I’ve already posted about the Help Felix Find a Cure campaign my workplace is running. And my local Safeway is taking donations all month; your own local grocery store may be doing the same. There are a plethora of donation options available if you expend a bit of effort to look. And consider donating to other forms of cancer research–because breast cancer isn’t the only version by a long shot, and men and women both suffer from its various forms. It was cancer of the brain that gave my mother epilepsy and ultimately killed her, so, um, yeah, been very well aware of cancer all my life.

I have been privileged to know several women both locally and online who have fought the same fight I have, or who are even currently fighting it. And I feel that for the sake of these women, the best thing I can do is to make what donations I can to the cause, as well as ask you all to consider doing the same. Updating your status on Facebook or wearing a pink shirt ultimately accomplishes very little. Throwing actual cash at actual research, however, can save lives.

Besides, Internetz, c’mon. I don’t even use a purse for the most part. I use a backpack, which ain’t nearly as sexy and girlie. And the only pink article of clothing I currently own raises a lot more awareness of Great Big Sea than it would of breast cancer, given that that’s what’s actually emblazoned on said article of clothing. Given that it is also now October, I ain’t wearing that out without wearing several layers over it, which kinda defeats the whole purpose, y’know?

Anyway. I’ve sent email to the coworker running the Felix campaign to see if I can drum up a way for non-Windows users to donate without buying the actual multimedia package. I’ve also been donating to Safeway’s efforts the last couple of times I’ve bought groceries there. Again, please consider doing the same. It’ll mean a lot more than status updates. Thanks.

Mirrored from annathepiper.org.

It’ll probably surprise few of you that I’m actually going to have little to say what with it being Breast Cancer Awareness Month; anyone who’s read me for a while will know I’ve had plenty to say on the subject already.

However, I will spread the word about this. My workplace, Big Fish Games, is having a fundraiser to raise money for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. We’re selling little $5 packs of multimedia downloadable goodies, including wallpapers, screensavers, and avatars. So if you like the games we sell, consider checking this fundraiser out.

You can get all the details and buy the download package right over here. Fair warning though: the download being sold is a Windows executable file, so not immediately interesting to non-Windows users. (I’ll be asking the folks at work if there are any plans to sell equivalent download packages or other goodies for the Mac users.)

Mirrored from annathepiper.org.

Good Murkworks friend darthhellokitty has had amazing progress this year losing weight, and on Thursday, solarbird pointed me at a post by another local acquaintance of ours, petit_chou, who’s been working hard on losing weight as well. It seems petit_chou has been having great results using an iPhone app called LoseIt!, so I’ve decided to check this out.

The way this works is, you tell it your current weight, where you want to actually be, and it’ll work out for you how long it should take you to get there and how many calories you’re allowed to consume in a day. Then you enter in what foods you eat and it’ll tally up that up for you. You’re allowed extra calories if you get in exercise, which it also lets you record. (Courtesy of this I learned I burn roughly 300 calories a day just walking to and from work during the week.)

So yeah. Given that I’ve continued to have weight issues and that I really need to get on the stick dealing with this, given that it’ll significantly reduce my risk of a recurrence of breast cancer, I’m going to give this a shot.

I started trying it on Thursday night and so far the app is quite easy to use and kind of fun. Since I have my iPhone with me all the time anyway, it makes it very easy to just whip the thing out and track stuff as I eat it, or as I finish a bout of walking. It’s also handy for providing immediate visual data on how much I’ve done during a day and how much more I’m allowed, and for keeping track of progress as well. This seems like it’ll be a way more effective tool than what I’d tried before, which is to say, keeping a manual food log on my laptop.

Trying it last night when we went out for sushi was fun, too, since it meant I was able to go “okay, I’m down to about 120 calories left, I can either have another round of sushi or go for the mochi!” Mmm, mochi. And today, I’m feeling kind of weird and almost-hungry, like my system thinks it should have more food except it doesn’t really need it. So it should be interesting to see how far I can get with it all. Wish me luck, folks.

Mirrored from annathepiper.org.

So, rough sleep last night, lots of trying not to flip out, and obsessively shooting the heads off of zombies. Oh yeah, and making myself actually work on Lament. Last night, not so fun.

Heard back from Dr. McMillan’s office who had no idea what was up with the mammogram stuff, so that told me that whatever was up with that, it wasn’t prompted by them. So I called the breast center people back, and they pointed me at the records nurse, who looked in my actual file to find out WTF. She said Dr. Carlson (who I actually met, I think, during the last round of BFFN) had noted something about a bit of a thing that was visible from one angle and not from another, so they wanted more angles of that. According to what the nurse described, it sounded like it could well just be scarring from my reduction.

So. Still nervous but not quite so paranoid. Keep your fingers crossed, people.

Mirrored from annathepiper.org.

1. Coworker #1 (hi jgstewart) loaned me his copy of cmpriest's Fathom, which didn't work for him, and which I am 99.99% likely to buy off of him once I'm done reading it. I was going to get it anyway eventually, and now is as good a time as any!
   
   
2. Coworker #2 saw The Forest of Hands and Teeth sitting next to me at my workstation and was attracted by the cover. I said, "It's a zombie novel!" He said, "How do you put those two words together?" I snickered and explained, since I'd just finished reading it at lunch, that it was a post-zombie-apocalypse novel about this young girl who wants to find out what lies beyond her village that's cut off from the rest of the world by a forest full of the undead. (More on this in another post!)
   
   
3. Coworker #3, upon overhearing the previous conversation, immediately came over and said "hey, did you read World War Z?" I affirmed, enthusiastically, that I had. I'm totally going to get me a rep for lovin' me some zombies at this place. I'm good with this.
   
   
4. I was able to take an emergency nap around 2 or so when my brain stopped functioning and demanded I become horizontal. My lead was totally cool with me doing that, so I went and curled up in the chair in the nearest phone room for about half an hour, setting an alarm on my cell phone. I never actually fell asleep since every time I made the slightest movement, I set off the motion sensor on the light in the room. But even sitting there curled up in near-darkness for about half an hour was enough to let me recharge. I stayed half an hour late, of course. And I really, really appreciate that my current workplace is awesome enough that I can do that.