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Happy Wednesday!
Thank you to Sarah for the lovely wedding post and for all the sweet comments and advice. We had a lovely evening, drinking champagne and eating cheesecake in bed while we watched National Treasure.
In other news, our youngest cat, Fig Newton, just turned two and has become a monster. She wants attention in the middle of a Zoom meeting. She wants to eat trash. She wants to use your chest as a springboard to jump onto the headboard at 2am and scratch at the walls.
I’m so tired.
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Calling all my cozy gaming fans, there’s a Kickstarter currently running for a game where you make your own toys and plushies. It’s already met its funding goal!
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I’ve been watching a lot of Interior Motives on YouTube. It’s a game show where people send in photos of their living spaces and the host/guests guess the submitter’s identity.
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In “this timeline is trash” news, Harlequin has announced that they’ll be working with an AI entertainment company to produce animated microdramas of books. Author Jackie Ashenden has made a Threads post, which Sarah and I assume has something to do with this announcement, that she had no clue this was happening.
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And for a little bit of a cleanse after that news, enjoy this very cute kid and his biking dad.
View this post on Instagram
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Don’t forget to share what cool or interesting things you’ve seen, read, or listened to this week! And if you have anything you think we’d like to post on a future Wednesday Links, send it my way!
smartbitches_feedYup, that’s right: after a few years of recapping issues of Romantic Times magazine, we have pretty much discovered all there is to know about periodical publication, so we’re starting our own print magazine!
Introducing Smart Bitch Magazine!
Didn’t Amanda do a great job on the cover??!
I particularly like the part where we are reviewing all “5 million books coming out this month.”
Also – Y2K, is it a historical romance? Genius!
If you’re curious where the image is from, that is the original romance artwork that I have hanging in my office. It was used for The Lion and the Lark by Doreen Owens Malek. I also have a paperback copy in a shadowbox that I’m going to hang next to it.
I wish everyone could work under the benevolent presence of John DeSalvo in a hot pink toga, because it’s truly an experience.
I love the idea of a print magazine reviewing every romance coming out in a given month. HOW BIG WOULD IT BE. Like nine Manhattan phone books tied together? Imagine the sound it’ll make when it lands on your porch!
I also love the idea of paper dolls. I realize these fashions aren’t a perfect match for the time periods Bertrice Small wrote in, but they’re so adorable. I LOVE the striped ensemble on the lower left.
Would I fall down all the time if I had that much train and bustle? Absolutely.
Would I look freaking fabulous doing it? Yes. Yes, I would.
Happy April 1st, everyone. I hope this brought a smile to your face!
Want to look back at some of our past April Fool’s editions? Here are a few of my favorites:
In 2023: Amanda and I were co-executive producers of The Bookshelf, where readers move into a luxurious mansion and collaborate (not compete) to find their OTPR – their one true perfect read.
In 2022: we had some turgid hotwallets with our own cryptocurrency, BitchCoin!
In 2021, we created the Smart Bitches Smart Device! It’ll track your reading and embeefen your wifi while picking fights with other appliances that aren’t getting the job done.
We’ve fallen in love with rabbits, and made our own social media network in 2014 complete with hoax-detection technology (wow, wish that had been real).
And still, one of my all-time most-favorite April Fool’s Day inventions?
Our 2015 Time-stopping wearable device that doubles as a reader, pedometer, page counter, audio device, sale alarm, and timekeeper.
I can’t tell you how much I wish the stop time wearable was real.
If you’ve got ideas for next year, by all means let me know. We have SO MUCH FUN coming up with the April Fool’s pages each year.
We’ll be back with more silliness, but until then, Happy April, folks.
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I’m popping up to the Columbus area next Monday at 6pm to take part in an event sponsored by the Ohioana Library, celebrating 100 years of Ohio authors (of which I count as one, considering that 95% of my novels, including my debut novel Old Man’s War, were written here in this state). In my event we’ll talk a bit about me and also a bit about Roger Zelazny (born in Euclid, OH), making a throughline about science fiction in Ohio. It’ll be fun! Plus I’ll probably sign books and may even talk a bit about my upcoming novel Monsters of Ohio. It seems appropriate.
In any event: See you at Storyline Bookshop in Upper Arlington, April 6 at 6pm!
— JS
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Feeling crafty? Cosplayer and author Annye Driscoll has got you covered, with their newest book showing you how to work with pretty much every material you could ever hope to sew. Grab a thimble and check out the Big Idea for Ultimate Encyclopedia of Fabrics & Unconventional Materials.
ANNYE DRISCOLL:
“Can you expand it to include… everything?”
Ominous words from my editor that led to the biggest and best thing I’ve ever made.
(And I’ve made some really cool stuff! Including a six-foot-long hot dog on a fork and a suit of armor for a spider.)
When I pitched what would become my third book, I called it “Sewing with Difficult Fabrics” and it was targeted firmly at the cosplay sewist. Sequins, faux leather, plastic fur—these are the weirdo kinds of materials that costumers struggle with, but that the average sewist will use very rarely. My goal was to help my fellow weird-thing-makers!
When I’m not an author and cosplayer, I’m a software developer. I’m very familiar with scope creep: when the project expands and expands and balloons out of control. I’m comfortable with my boundaries and I have no issue pointing out and turning down scope creep, when I need to.
With Fabrics, what happened wasn’t so much scope creep as…scope jump scare. Scope avalanche. My editor saw my outline, added a few things that fit the theme, and then added basically everything else. She liked the concept of the book and my previous work, and thought we had a chance to make something big, comprehensive, and seriously cool.
The resulting book is a literal encyclopedia: Ultimate Encyclopedia of Fabrics & Unconventional Materials. I researched, practiced with, and then explained how to work with over a hundred kinds of fabric, and then added in some weird materials for the costumers. (Like paper! A surprisingly satisfying material to sew with.)
(And, although I want to boast, there’s no way to say something like “it includes every kind of fabric.” Fiber arts are literally thousands of years old; there are—and have been—thousands of variations of fabrics and textiles.)
I got confused a lot. Did you know that sometimes two-way and four-way stretch fabrics are referred to as “one-way” and “two-way” fabrics? So if you’re trying to buy a two-way fabric, you may see it labeled as “two-way” or “one-way”.
And oh my gosh, the language differences. What I in the United States call a muslin—a practice piece for a future project—is actually a type of fabric in British English. A muslin is also often referred to as a toile… which is a second, completely different kind of fabric. I had to decide, at one point, that I was writing the book from my own, American English perspective, and that I’d just do what I could to anticipate and reduce confusion.
All that to say: writing an encyclopedia was really hard. It was, by far, the hardest I’ve ever worked on a single project. Over 500 of my own photographs are in the book. I messaged, wooed, and profoundly thanked a little over fifty guest makers (imagine wrangling release signatures out of fifty artsy-fartsy folks!). I had to keep a list of “I decided to spell words this way” to try to maintain consistency (I went with nonslip over non-slip, for example).
And it was worth it. I am so proud. Writing and photographing Fabrics made me a better teacher, photographer, and maker. It pushed my limits and tested my tenacity. I am so so proud of it.
I can’t wait for folks to learn from it, to be inspired by it, and to make cool stuff with it!
Check out excerpts from the Supplies and Knits chapters of the encyclopedia here.
Ultimate Encyclopedia of Fabrics and Unconventional Materials: Amazon|Barnes and Noble|Bookshop.org|Waterstones|Indigo| signed copy on the author’s website
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The Keeper of Magical Things by Julie Leong is $1.99! This is a cozy fantasy novel. I don’t think this one is a romance, per se, and has more of a focus on platonic relationships. But please sound off in the comments with your thoughts!
An almost-mage discovers friendship—and maybe something more—in the unlikeliest of places in this delightfully charming novel from the USA Today bestselling author of The Teller of Small Fortunes.
Certainty Bulrush wants to be useful—to the Guild of Mages that took her in as a novice, to the little brother who depends on her, and to anyone else she can help. Unfortunately, her tepid magic hasn’t proven much use to anyone. When Certainty has the chance to earn her magehood via a seemingly straightforward assignment, she takes it. Nevermind that she’ll have to work with Mage Aurelia, the brilliant, unfairly attractive overachiever who’s managed to alienate everyone around her.
The two must transport minorly magical artifacts somewhere Shpelling, the dullest, least magical village around. There, they must fix up an old warehouse, separate the gossipy teapots from the kind-of-flaming swords, corral an unruly little catdragon who has tagged along, and above all, avoid complications. The Guild’s uneasy relationship with citizens is at a tipping point, and the last thing needed is a magical incident.
Still, as mage and novice come to know Shpelling’s residents—and each other—they realize the Guild’s hoarded magic might do more good being shared. Friendships blossom while Certainty and Aurelia work to make Shpelling the haven it could be. But magic is fickle—add attraction and it might spell trouble.
By the Horns by Ruby Dixon is $1.99! This is book two in the Royal Artifactual Guild series. It’s a monster romance and I find these covers to be an assault on the senses.
In a world of magical artifacts and fantastical beings, a woman with a deadly magic secret needs the help of the minotaur she’s trying to forget in the sizzling sequel to Ruby Dixon’s New York Times bestseller Bull Moon Rising.
Gwenna has always considered herself a normal person. A former servant, she wants nothing more than to land a steady job with the Royal Artifactual Guild so she can make some steady coin to send home to her mother. She’s not special. She’s certainly not a necromancer. That would be impossible, given how necromancing (or any ‘mancing) is forbidden upon penalty of death. So if the dead keep talking to her? Well, she’s going to keep on ignoring them. They’re not going to stand in the way of her dreams.
Also standing in her way? One big, arrogant, far-too-flirty Taurian named Raptor. They slept together once, and now he wants more . . . but she doesn’t have time for that. Her focus is on being a fledgling, a trainee for the Royal Artifactual Guild. But Raptor won’t go away. He’s on a secret mission for the guild to find an artifact thief.
Problem is, he thinks the thief is Gwenna.
How can she convince Raptor that he’s got the wrong girl when all the signs point to her? And how do you tell a Taurian you can’t date him because you hear dead people and it might cost you your life?
Ghost Business by Jen DeLuca is $1.99! This is book two in the Boneyard Key series, which is set in Florida. The main characters have rival ghost tour businesses.
“You get a long, hot summer full of the most delectable kind of pining.”–The New York Times
Clashing ghost tours lead to a sizzling romantic rivalry in the second romance in the new series from USA Today bestselling author Jen DeLuca.
Boneyard Key, Florida, is the only home Sophie has ever known. Her love for its supernatural history has flourished into a career, as she guides the one and only ghost tour through the town’s can’t-miss haunted spots. And while her bank account isn’t full by any means, her heart is. Or at least, it was.
But there’s a newcomer in town. The son of a Fortune 500 businessman, former theater kid Tristan has grown his tours from a fraternity fundraiser to a multicity ghost tour conglomerate. It’s doing well, but not well enough—if he can’t prove that he’s solidly in the black by the fall, Dad’s going to pull his funding, spelling the end of his career. Boneyard Key, with its haunted reputation, seems like the perfect place to boost his bottom line.
When the two ghost tours clash, Sophie’s expletive-filled rant goes viral, and the rivals strike up a deal. Whoever has the most successful business by summer’s end stays, while the loser must ghost. But the more Tristan comes to appreciate Boneyard Key, the more Sophie comes to appreciate Tristan, and what starts as begrudging respect becomes something spicier. Can they put their feuding businesses aside to make room for a chance at love, or is Boneyard Key too small for two ghost tours?
A Pack for Winter by Eliana Lee is $1.99! This is book two in the Cozyverse series, which is an omegaverse, why choose novel. I’m very curious about this series as I’ve never read any omegverse books before, but I this may be too twee for me.
She’s resigned to being single. They’re on a mission to change her mind.
Ivy Noelle Winter is content with being a 31-year-old unbonded omega with no prospects of a pack. She adores teaching fifth grade, she has wonderful friends — and that baking show marathon isn’t going to watch itself.
Until a snowstorm and power outage traps Ivy in her classroom after hours…with three men.
Rome, the new alpha music teacher.
James, the flirtatious beta vet he’s bonded to.
And Logan, the town’s grumpy alpha electrician.
Their scents call to Ivy and her body answers, setting off her first-ever mini heat. When the pheromones settle, she gets a proposition beyond her wildest dreams—a chance to be a pack.
But there’s no such thing as a perfect courtship, especially when the biggest roadblock to happiness might be Ivy herself.
A Pack for Winter is a standalone MMFM why choose small town romance. It is part of the Cozyverse shared universe, bringing you cozy omegaverse full of heart, heat and humor.
smartbitches_feedThis HaBO is from Amelia in the podcast Patreon discord:
This was a 1980s/90s vintage romance with a heroine undercover as a high school student a la Never Been Kissed???
The hero is a teacher who thinks she’s 17 for most of the book.
It’s a yikes but I’m in a Fast Times at Ridgemont High cultural deep dive and it’s driving me insane trying to find when this came out.
Sending up the bat signal to HaBO!
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Happy Tuesday!
It’s the last day of March and a pretty big release day. I feel like there’s a little bit of everything from historical romance to non-fiction.
Which new books are you excited for? Let us know in the comments!
Author: Caitlyn Paxson
Released: March 31, 2026 by Del Rey
Genre: Fantasy/Fairy Tale Romance, Historical: European, Romance
In this witty fantasy romance, a widow attempts to resurrect her dead husband by blackmailing her rakish necromancer neighbor—only to find herself falling for him instead.
“Witty, whimsical, and deeply kind, A Widow’s Charm is beyond charming—it’s wholly enchanting.”—Alix E. Harrow, New York Times bestselling author of The Everlasting
Lady Hildegarde Croft is accustomed to changes in position. After all, she rose from maidservant to lady of the manor when she married Lord Thorgoode Croft. But when he dies unexpectedly, the plans that would have protected her and the people of Croftholde die along with him. What’s a widow to do?
Potential salvation arrives in the form of Lord Elmwood, who is fleeing the consequences of using his forbidden Charm to raise the dead. Now he’s injured, destitute, and hiding out at the neighboring estate.
For Hilde, blackmailing Lord Elmwood to resurrect Thorgoode seems like the perfect solution. For Elmwood, beautiful Lady Croft seems like the ideal distraction from his troubles. The problem is, all she wants from him is the horrifying power he knows he can never use again.
Sarah: A widow attempts to blackmail the necromancer next door into reanimating her husband to save his estate and her life, and then the necromancer is hot. Historical.
Author: A. Rae Dunlap
Released: March 31, 2026 by Kensington Books
Genre: Horror, Historical: European, Mystery/Thriller
A Victorian-era Nancy Drew meets The Woman in the Window as true crime and historical fiction collide in this atmospheric thriller featuring real-life figures and a rebellious, uniquely inventive young reform school inmate determined to solve the serial killer case dominating the headlines in London, and soon, in the world: the Jack the Ripper murders.
London, 1888. Committed to the Whitechapel Hall Reform School for “incurable delinquency” 15-year-old Adelaide “Dell” Morton is a precocious, defiant misfit. She’s also a voracious reader of true crime and detective fiction, including the sordid, sensationally popular Penny dreadful stories. In an unlikely stroke of luck, she’s found a kindred spirit in her poised, perfectionist roommate, Pippa. Their obsession is only further fueled by the Jack the Ripper murders blazing a trail of terror throughout London’s seediest streets . . . right outside Whitechapel Hall’s front door.
Desperate for adventure, they embark on their own investigation—and discover an ally in Noah, son of the local butcher. But Noah’s motives are not mere fascination: His father is the prime suspect. Noah is desperate to clear his name, and Dell and Pippa are only too eager to help.
Their budding spywork soon yields shocking results: they witness straightlaced Whitechapel teacher Miss Kaye escaping the school the night of the latest crime. Could Jack the Ripper be a she? Delving into Miss Kaye’s background, Dell is both horrified and thrilled to find that within Miss Kaye’s past lies a chapter dark enough to rival any Penny dreadful . . .
Dell’s fixation with Miss Kaye reaches dangerous heights while a series of suspicious events leave Miss Kaye in sole command of Whitechapel Hall. Trapped in their teacher’s ever-tightening web of control, the three devious detectives devise a risky plan to track her. But what ensues may only propel them ever deeper into secrets, lies, ruthless acts, and betrayals that go back decades—and a confrontation that will irrevocably change the fates of all involved . . . if they survive.
Amanda: I was on board with “A Victorian-era Nancy Drew.”
Author: Navessa Allen
Released: March 31, 2026 by Slowburn
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Romance
Series: Into Darkness #3
Book three in the No.1 New York Times bestselling Into Darkness series, following the dark rom-com sensations Lights Out and Caught Up . The game is on for these enemies-to-lovers with laugh-out-loud banter and scorching-hot brat play.
I hate that woman.
Tyler Neumann has spent years looking for his father, and not because he wants to meet the man. No, he wants to destroy him. And he’ll manipulate whoever he can to exact his revenge.
Including Stella McCormick. She’s everything Tyler hates. Her wealth and privilege have protected her for her entire life, and Tyler thinks it’s time she finally paid the price. Whether she’s ready to or not.
I hate that man.
Stella might not believe in love at first sight, but loathing at first sight – no question. From the moment she sets eyes on Tyler in her tattoo parlor, she knows he’s the devil planning to make her life hell.
Forced to play the part of his girlfriend and invite him into her family’s glittering circles, Stella quickly clocks Tyler’s ulterior motives. But love and hate are two sides of the same coin, and soon she doesn’t know which is being blackmailed by a man who wants to ruin her, or that they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other.
Game On is an enemies-to-lovers dark romance with morally grey characters. Some themes and scenes may be disturbing to readers. Please check the content warning at the beginning of the book.
The third book in the very popular Into Darkness series.
Author: Jennifer Mandula
Released: March 31, 2026 by Del Rey
Genre: Fantasy/Fairy Tale Romance, Historical: European, Romance
When a Victorian fossil hunter discovers a baby pterodactyl, she vows to protect him with the help of a fellow scholar—her former fiancé—in this enchanting and transporting historical fantasy.
Mary Anning wants to be a geomagician—a paleontologist who uses fossils to wield magic—but since the Geomagical Society of London refuses to admit women, she’s stuck selling her discoveries to tourists instead. When an ancient egg hatches in her hands, revealing a loveable baby pterodactyl Mary names Ajax, she knows this is the kind of scientific find that could make her career—if she’s strategic.
Mary contacts the Society about her discovery, and they demand to take possession of Ajax. Their emissary is none other than Henry Stanton, a distinguished (and infuriatingly handsome) scholar… and the man who once broke Mary’s heart.
Henry claims he believes in the brilliant Mary, and that he only wants to help her obtain the respect she deserves. She knows she can’t trust her fellow scholars, who want to discredit her and claim Ajax for their own—but can she even trust Henry, who seems intent on winning Mary back?
Now Mary has a new mystery to solve that’s buried deeper than any dinosaur She must uncover the secrets behind the Society and the truth about Henry. As her conscience begins to chafe against her ambition, Mary must decide what lengths she’s willing to go to finally belong—and what her heart really wants.
Amanda: This sounds delightful!
Author: Jenny Lawson
Released: March 31, 2026 by Penguin Life
Genre: Memoir, Nonfiction
Warm, insightful, and witty, the first book of advice from New York Times bestselling author Jenny Lawson—aka the Bloggess
Jenny Lawson is full of contradictions. She’s a celebrated author but battles self-doubt, paralysis, and anxiety. She’s an award-winning humorist but struggles with treatment-resistant depression. The questions people most often ask her are, “How do you do it? How do you keep going even when it feels impossible? How do you keep creating?” This book is her answer.
In How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay, Jenny shares more than one hundred humorous, heartfelt, and genuine tools and tricks that she relies on to keep her going even when her brain isn’t working properly due to depression, anxiety, and ADHD. She also offers tips to stay passionate and focused on creative endeavors, especially when everything around you is saying to give up.
With chapters like “Wash Your Brain More Than You Wash Your Bra” (sleep, you beautiful human), “Working on Easy Mode Is Still Working” (asking for accommodations is okay!), “Celebrate Good Times, Come On!” (make it a habit to celebrate the good things), and many more, How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay is a balm and companion, reminding us all that we are not alone. It’s for anyone who struggles with self-doubt, guilt, motivation, and mental blocks and wants to rekindle their passion for creating. Funny, simple, empathetic, and full of hope, it will encourage you not to just survive but to find and curate joy in the face of difficult times.
Amanda: Lawson is an autobuy for me!
Author: Sam Evans
Released: March 31, 2026 by Super Gravity Press
Genre: Contemporary Romance, Romance
Amanda: This sounds batshit and I’m here for it.
Author: Christy Carlyle
Released: March 31, 2026 by Avon
Genre: Historical: European, Romance
Series: Princes of London #2
In the next installment of the swoon-worthy Princes of London series, Christy Carlyle takes readers on a heart-pounding hunt through Norfolk where a legendary treasure hunter and a fierce local woman battle over a Viking hoard, each determined to claim it for their own—and neither willing to lose their heart in the process…
Dominic Prince is passionate, tenacious, and determined to carve out a legendary name for himself—just like his famous treasure-hunting father. When an American tycoon funds his expedition to uncover a Viking hoard in Norfolk and ship it across the Atlantic, Dominic sees his chance to claim glory. If he can unearth a treasure trove so magnificent it lands him on the front pages of newspapers in both England and America, his success will finally be undeniable.
Tess Hawthorne doesn’t quite know what to make of the entirely too handsome scoundrel who shows up in her village seeking the very treasure she’s been hoping to find all her life. When he asks to employ her knowledge and familiarity with the locals to assist on the dig, she accepts.
But she doesn’t want whatever treasure they find to leave England, and she certainly doesn’t want to lose her heart to the man determined to claim it…
A treasure hunting historical romance!
Author: Ilona Andrews
Released: March 31, 2026 by Tor Books
Genre: Fantasy/Fairy Tale Romance, Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy
Series: Maggie the Undying #1
Outlander meets Game of Thrones in this blockbuster new epic fantasy series from the #1 New York Times bestselling author duo Ilona Andrews.
When Maggie wakes up cold, filthy, and naked in a gutter, it doesn’t take her long to recognize Kair Toren, a city she knows intimately from the pages of the famously unfinished dark fantasy series she’s been obsessively reading and re-reading while waiting years for the final novel.
Her only tools for navigating this gritty world of rival warlords, magic, and mayhem? Her encyclopedic knowledge of the plot, the setting, and the characters’ ambitions and fates. But while she quickly discovers she cannot be killed (though many will try!), the same cannot be said for the living, breathing characters she’s coming to love—a motley band that includes a former lady’s maid, a deadly assassin, various outrageous magical creatures, and a dangerously appealing soldier. Soon, instead of trying to get home, she finds herself enmeshed in the schemes—and attentions—of dueling princes, dukes, and villains, all while trying to save them and the kingdom of Rellas from the way she knows their stories will end: in a cataclysmic war.
For fans of Samantha Shannon, Danielle L. Jensen, Sarah J. Maas, and isekai and portal fantasy, This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me is the beginning of the most epic adventure yet from genre powerhouse author duo Ilona Andrews.
Amanda: Portal fantasy is having a moment and I’m here for it. (I’ve also been consuming a lot of a isekai webtoons.)
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March was a much busier month than I expected it to be, but it also flew by and I feel like I can’t even keep track of what all happened. I don’t know how we’re at the end of March already, and yet the trip to Colorado I took at the beginning of the month feels very far away. Somehow there’s never enough time to do anything, and when I look back at what I have done it feels like nothing got accomplished at all. It’s like every single day I have no free time and am always running around doing something, but then at the end of the day it feels like nothing even got done.
This past month I’ve truly felt so overwhelmed by everything. And when I say everything I mean any and every little thing stresses me out in a disproportionate way. It’s like my brain doesn’t know the difference between a small problem and a catastrophic one, and so my response to either ends up being the most extreme reaction possible and results in a meltdown and a paralysis of my ability to function.
Every issue is day-ruining, every problem brings me to tears, nothing feels possible to overcome, whether it be the laundry, grocery shopping, or calling the plumber for the tenth time because of leaking in the basement. Everything takes so much longer to accomplish than I think it will. I am either not managing my time well or maybe just not budgeting for things correctly in the first place. Surely it’s a combination of both.
There’s always something more to do. It never ends. There is never a moment of “whew, I got everything done!” The satisfaction of completion, of achievement, never comes. The stress doesn’t end, it continues from one day into the next. I go to sleep anxious and stressed about the problems tomorrow me will face, and then tomorrow me wakes up and is stressed about the problems that have to be taken care of that day. It feels like a vicious cycle and I feel like I’ll never be free.
I keep thinking it will get better, but it hasn’t.
But if I explain the things that are causing me so much stress, I just sound ridiculous and more than a little pathetic. I mean, everyone has bills. Everyone has dishes and laundry to do. Everyone has appointments to keep. Everyone has to grocery shop and cook for themselves. These are very normal, well known life things that everyone does and manages on a day-to-day basis. So why am I drowning? I don’t even have a 9 to 5 or kids or anything that makes my life so much harder and more overwhelming than everyone else’s. In fact, I have the opposite! I have financial security and a WFH job and supportive family and friends, and I still feel suffocated by the menial, tedious, repetitive tasks of daily life.
Every task takes so much amping up for me to do. I cannot simply do a task, I have to work up to said task. I have to prepare mentally to accomplish the task. I need proper motivation, and I so rarely have it.
There are so many things within the house I thought would be done by now, like furnishing the sun room, painting the walls, fixing up the guest bedroom, and yet none of these have been accomplished despite having moved in in November. I just thought these things would be done by now. Or at least started. But they’re not. And my Christmas tree is still up.
Plus, nothing feels like it matters in the face of what’s happening in the world, but that’s a tale as old as time and told by everyone at this point. It hardly feels like an excuse anymore. Oh no, I’m witnessing unspeakable horrors all day every day! Well, time to do the dishes. At least I still have running water, unlike people near data centers. Oh, they’re building a data center twelve miles away from me? Right, right. Well, I guess I’ll just go ahead and do my taxes. Oh, the US is committing horrific acts of war with our tax dollars? Again? Right, right.
I know I’m sounding very doomer, and I rarely bring these types of thoughts here, but good lord March was heavy and I can’t really figure out why it was so bad. But it was, and I posted pretty much zero content. I don’t want to feel like my writing doesn’t matter, and I don’t want to feel like the things I do in my day to day life don’t matter, but that’s where I’m at right now. I know a lot of people feel the same way.
I’m hoping to catch up with a lot of posts, as I have been doing really fun and exciting stuff. And as frustrated as I am that all the good things in life are continuously tainted by the fact we live in a world run by the most evil people imaginable, I am still looking forward to sharing those good things with y’all. Because they do exist, despite it all.
-AMS
smartbitches_feednb: We are still having issues with connections to our image library, so if some of the covers don’t load, I have linked to their info pages so you can find images on retailers.
Romance author Sandra Hill passed away on 26 March, surrounded by loved ones, per her obituary. She was 86 years old, and is survived by her four sons, her sister, and four grandchildren. May her memory be a blessing.
Because y’all, Sandra Hill was a gift to romance, and I shall not have it any other way. Amanda and I talk a lot about how romance in the late 90s and the 00s was often zany. Outlandish, absurd plots? Yes. Unexpected characters? Oh yes.
VERY VIRILE VIKINGS? You bet your sweet bippy we have very virile vikings.Sandra Hill was a treasure, dependable for a truly off the walls reading experience with campy, fun, and often endearing characters.
Please note that every word of this is very high praise. I’m genuinely sad to have lost one of the writers who I think made romance as great as it is.
The finest element to Sandra Hill’s writing was that you could kind of tell she was having a great time. You know how when you watch a show or a movie, and there’s a special kind of chemistry between the actors, a vibe that there’s a little something extra in their performance, because you can visibly tell they’re really enjoying themselves? That’s a Sandra Hill romance: the books are so unhinged they are barn doors, and she did not seem to be taking herself too seriously.
I mean, consider The Very Virile Viking.
Look, when don’t I consider The Very Virile Viking? I talk about this book all the time! I remember where I was when I read it (on a family cruise, where I had packed a suitcase that was just books because ereading wasn’t a thing). I remember a particular scene so clearly, I can picture where I was when I read it.
To wit: Magnus Ericsson, he of the very virile viking-ness, has traveled forward in time to 2014, along with a whole assortment of kids. Ten of them, to be precise. He is very virile, after all (sort of. It’s a plot point).
And at one point he gathers all the kids together and is like, “So clearly we are in the future, yeah?” And the kids basically reply, “Yep, pretty much!”
I don’t know why this scene stuck with me. Probably because it’s demonstrating real and caring parental attention to this collection of children, and also because it’s so on the nose it’s hilarious.
He’s a viking. (A very virile one!) And he and all his kids start out in 999, and end up in 2014 Hollywood. Because of course they do. This is a Sandra Hill book.
I mean, this is the author of the book we dubbed “The Pull My Finger Viking.” Better known as The Bewitched Viking.
Perhaps her publisher is who gave us the Pull My Finger Viking, but we know it was Sandra Hill’s work that inspired a cover this wonderful, this absurd. Truly majestic.
In addition to virile vikings, you know what else Sandra Hill gave us?
Immortal Viking Vampire Angel Navy SEALs.
AKA “The VVangels.”
Just…just gaze upon that sentence
Immortal. Viking. Vampire. Navy SEALs. And is the cover copy for book one, Kiss of Pride, as incredible as the above? Ha. Of course it is.Is he really a Viking with a vampire’s bite?
An angel with the body of a thunder god?
A lone wolf with love on his mind?
D: All of the above?!
Yes, indeed, the answer is D. (The answer is always D, especially when the viking vampire angels are involved.)
Then there’s book 7 in the Deadly Angels (that’s their proper series name. Immortal Viking Vampire Angel Navy SEALs takes way too long to say): The Angel Wore Fangs.
This book is TUMBLR FAMOUS. Look at the range of Sandra Hill. TUMBLR famous.
Why, you ask?Well. Let me tell you.
Once guilty of the deadly sin of gluttony, thousand-year-old Viking vampire angel Cnut Sigurdsson is now a lean, mean, vampire-devil fighting machine. His new side-job? No biggie: just ridding the world of a threat called ISIS while keeping the evil Lucipires (demon vampires) at bay.
I need to stop and catch my breath. A thousand year old Viking Vampire Angel named Cnut is going to fight ISIS. And demon vampires but also ISIS.
Let us continue:
So when chef Andrea Stewart hires him to rescue her sister from a cult recruiting terrorists at a Montana dude ranch, vangel turns cowboy. Yeehaw!
The too-tempting mortal insists on accompanying him, surprising Cnut with her bravery at every turn. But with terrorists stalking the ranch in demonoid form, Cnut teletransports Andrea and himself out of danger—accidentally into the tenth-century Norselands. Suddenly, they have to find their way back to the future to save her family and the world . . . and to satisfy their insatiable attraction.
Cnut and Chef Andrea end up in the 10th century. WAIT. Did they take over the Very Virile Viking’s home? I imagine it was spacious; he had 10 kids and he didn’t need a home in the tenth century anymore, now, did he?
The delight that I found in Sandra Hill titles is not measurable. Her books remain one of my favorite examples of what happens when truly unlimited imagination and fluency in romance meets high-grade silliness and camp.
Sandra Hill’s contributions to the genre are truly unique. They are masterpieces of the elements of romance fiction that we celebrate unreservedly. SHE EVEN HAS HER OWN TV TROPES PAGE. Y’all, no greater honor is possible.
I have said many times that I do take some things very seriously – the comment space here, for example – but I do not take myself seriously at all. And I read Sandra Hill’s books with the suspicion that she didn’t take herself seriously, either. Which is probably one of my very favorite traits in a person.
Thank you, Sandra Hill, for making romance what it is. The genre would not have been the same, and certainly not as a fun and zany, without you.
james_davis_nicoll
cosmolinguistTwo dozen people from my workplace, which is national so we normally work in all kinds of places, schlepped to London for two days together in the head office today.
Only for the office to have to be closed by lunchtime in the first day because there's a flood in the building. Ominous rumors about toilets and smells abound...
We spent the first half of the afternoon trying to find somewhere to decamp to.
I don't even know if we'll be allowed back in the building tomorrow, lolsob
smartbitches_feedHey y’all! We’re having some really annoying technical difficulties with images this morning, which means your regularly scheduled (and really excellent) edition of Cover Snark is delayed until I can…get the covers to show up.
So in lieu of a lot of rippling ads like packs of King Hawaiian rolls (
Amanda) and really jacked, dehydrated men staring at their junk, and floating alien babies affixed with bad Photoshop – you can almost see the covers in your mind, can’t you?! – I’m going to ask:
How you doing?
It’s been A Morning for me: on top of having no images on the site and a lack of Man Titty, had my second shingles shot today, so I’m prepared to feel Extra Crappy tomorrow. Plus I got a parking ticket despite having bought parking for said shot appointment, and I have to fight with my health insurance, too. I’m logged into like six portals right now trying to connect to the right people.
Administrivia is exhausting! And the site of my vaccine is ITCHY.
But, aside from it being A Morning, this week is Passover, and so there will be Big Feasting this week. And I have sweet potato tacos in the fridge for lunch. So life isn’t entirely annoying, just mostly annoying.
So how are you today? What’s up with you? DOTH THOU NEEDEST TO VENTE! Or CELEBRATE WINS? Please feel welcome to do so in the comments.
And please allow me to share the meme (fingers crossed the image loads correctly!) that has caused me to almost say, “I’m here for my shongles shit” at the doctor’s office.
smartbitches_feed
RECOMMENDED: Sweet Filthy Boy by Christina Lauren is $1.99! This is book one in the Wild Quartet series and I gave it an A. The entire series is on sale and I hope it lasts. I saw it listed as both KDDs from yesterday, but also as part of Amazon’s Big Spring Sale which lasts through the 31st. Fingers crossed!
One-night stands are supposed to be with someone convenient, or wickedly persuasive, or regrettable. They aren’t supposed to be with someone like him.
But after a crazy Vegas weekend celebrating her college graduation—and terrified of the future path she knows is a cop-out—Mia Holland makes the wildest decision of her life: follow Ansel Guillaume—her sweet, filthy fling—to France for the summer and just…play.
When feelings begin to develop behind the provocative roles they take on, and their temporary masquerade adventures begin to feel real, Mia will have to decide if she belongs in the life she left because it was all wrong, or in the strange new one that seems worlds away.
The Devil She Knows by Alexandria Bellefleur is $1.99! This release was featured on Dahlia’s monthly queer romances post and I think in a deep dive on comic-style covers.
“A fantasy-tinged sapphic romance with perfect banter.”—People
A down-on-her-luck woman makes a deal with a crafty demon to win back her ex-girlfriend after a proposal gone awry, only to discover the girl of her dreams might be the devil she knows, from nationally bestselling author Alexandria Bellefleur.
Samantha Cooper is having a day from hell.
In less than 24 hours, her life has unraveled, leaving her single and with nowhere to live. Adding insult to injury, she’s trapped in an elevator with a gorgeous woman claiming to be a demon.
Daphne is not at all what Samantha expected from someone claiming to be an evil supernatural entity. She’s pretty, witty, dressed in pink, and smells nice. And she’s here to offer Samantha a deal she can’t refuse. Six wishes in exchange for one tiny trade—Samantha’s soul. There’s a glaring loophole in their contract, one Samantha fully intends to exploit so she doesn’t fork over her soul. After all, she only needs one wish to win her ex back.
Hell-bent to gather the last of the one thousand souls she needs so that she can be free of her own devilish deal, Daphne grants each of Samantha’s wishes . . . with a twist, so that Samantha is forced to make another.
As Samantha’s wishes dwindle and Daphne offers her glimpses into the life she thought she wanted, the unlikely pair grows close. Perhaps the girl of Samantha’s dreams is actually the stuff of nightmares, but Samantha and Daphne will have to outsmart the Devil himself if they want a chance at happily ever after.
Never Trust a Rogue by Olivia Drake is $2.99! This is book two in The Heiress in London series. This one seems to have a fake engagement and mystery elements.
A pretend engagement is filled with very real desire in the midst of a dangerous undercover investigation in this Regency romance from the RITA Award winner.
The wealthiest heiress of the season, Miss Lindsey Crompton finds detective work far more fascinating than social engagements—at least until she meets Thane Parker, the Earl of Mansfield. Thane is a paradox: a war hero and a cad, a wicked scoundrel and an indulgent guardian of his young ward. When Lindsey sneaks into his house to investigate his role in a series of murders, he blackmails her into a betrothal.
Thane has a secret life he keeps hidden from everyone, especially the infernally curious—and curiously alluring—Miss Crompton. Working with the Bow Street Runners, Thane is tracking a killer who may be one of Lindsey’s suitors. Even if their engagement is a ruse, the heat between Thane and Lindsey is undeniably real. And with a murderer on the loose, desire has never been so dangerous . . .
Water Moon by Samantha Sotto Yamboa is $2.99! This released January 2025. Elyse mentioned it on Hide Your Wallet because it sounded cozy and magical.
A woman inherits a pawnshop where you can sell your regrets, and then embarks on a magical journey when a charming young physicist wanders into the shop, in this dreamlike and enchanting fantasy novel.
On a backstreet in Tokyo lies a pawnshop, but not everyone can find it. Most will see a cozy ramen restaurant. And only the chosen ones—those who are lost—will find a place to pawn their life choices and deepest regrets.
Hana Ishikawa wakes on her first morning as the pawnshop’s new owner to find it ransacked, the shop’s most precious acquisition stolen, and her father missing. And then into the shop stumbles a charming stranger, quite unlike its other customers, for he offers help instead of seeking it.
Together, they must journey through a mystical world to find Hana’s father and the stolen choice—by way of rain puddles, rides on paper cranes, the bridge between midnight and morning, and a night market in the clouds.
But as they get closer to the truth, Hana must reveal a secret of her own—and risk making a choice that she will never be able to take back.
scalziwhatever_feed
Though we flip through a story’s pages as quickly as our eyes allow, do we ever stop to think about the story that lies in between the pages? The one that happens off-screen, out of sight, and in the background? Author EC Wolfe has, and she used these thoughts to craft a new novel in her Kerovosian Chronicles series, Shrike.
EC WOLFE:
I’m sure I’m not the first to say that real characters and stories don’t have to come from some deep place to be compelling. Compelling characters and stories come from real places, places that we can connect to as individuals. This is why, as an author, I spend a lot of my time asking “What if?” Granted, asking the question aloud has gained me a reputation for being a little bit weird, but asking the questions of myself and then answering them on paper has gained me a reputation as an author.
My hard drive is full of answers to “What if?” left in folders labeled Scrap. These ideas languish in digital purgatory until I can answer the next question, “What happens next?” The answer to that question is singularly responsible for the second two books in the Water Girl series; I just kept answering it.
Shrike is different.
Shrike is the sixth book in the Kerovosian Chronicles, but it’s not “What happens next?” nor is it “What if?” Shrike is the answer to a question that could have been asked in books one through five, but those books were about Chana and Thorne, and Voil and Kade, and Navi and Harker, and Ceff and Nythan, and Kerovos.
But this book isn’t about them. It’s about the ones who brought Kerovos’s plan to fruition and yet were little more than a footnote for their troubles. Shrike isn’t about what happens next, it’s what happened when we weren’t looking. The Shrikes didn’t just appear and help out of the goodness of their hearts, so where did they come from? What sort of person would take Kerovos up on a job offer? What did it cost them and what did they gain? Did anyone ever know what they did?
It stuck out to me that there were several stories left untold once I’d finished the fifth book, several characters that deserved the pages necessary to explain their motives, their victories, and their failures. Like ours, the world of the Kerovosian Chronicles is full of players shuffling about on a game board, for good or ill. Some of them stood out more, and like a tag you can’t rip out, it bothered me until I took the time to figure out why. I realized that Kerovos had taken their glory in his eponymous book and I felt compelled to give it back to them. It’s an honor to grant them the story they’d been denied, these characters who made choices just like you or I. Hard choices. Painful choices.
Like any other characters of my invention, these characters aren’t perfect. It feels disingenuous to write perfect people since I have yet to find a person, now or in history, who was or is. Instead, these characters are real because they aren’t perfect. As I mentioned, it’s not deep. You can throw a little deus ex machina in there to help them along but it’s still about the choices people make. There are always more What Ifs and scrap on the hard drive, but for now, I’m happy to share Shrike. A story about real people and the answer (but not really) to yet another “What happens next?”
Shrike: Amazon
Author’s socials: Facebook
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