BRING OUT YOUR CRAP!

[annathepiper]

So since I'm having the final round of reconstruction surgery on the 5th, y'all do realize what this means, don't you?

Yes, that's right, it's time for ANOTHER MOVIE SUCKOFF.

The floor is now open for suggestions for contenders. As with previous Suckoffs, anything I have already seen is automatically disqualified. MST3K and Cinematic Titanic movies are out on those grounds. RiffTrax is also disqualified as the idea here is to enjoy (aheh, for admittedly odd values of 'enjoy') the contenders in all their unaccompanied craptacular glory.

Pairoffs of Sci-Fi Pictures Originals vs. theatrical releases are on the other hand highly encouraged, especially if you can come up with a suitable matched theme. By way of example, last time around we had the theme of Giant Snakes.

Okay, people, I'm braced. Hit me!

Comments

[eveshka.livejournal.com]

Worst Movie Ever: Death Bed: The Bed that Eats.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0385639/

[annathepiper]

"Worst Movie Ever", you say? I think Decoys 2: Alien Seduction would have something to say about that.

This may require investigation!

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Soft core porn sf counts? That opens up whole new areas . . .

You've already covered those horrible horrible horrible soft core versions of Planet of the Apes and LOTR that came out a few years ago?

And "The Eye" or whatever (I remember Jaqueline Lovell was in it, primarily because of a lawsuit), that was a remake of something called "The Crawling Eye" from eons ago that may or may not have been bad.

And I actually stopped by because it suddenly popped into my brain -- The Incredible Two Headed Transplant! Or whatever. ::will go away now cause I seriously have no idea of what you've seen or not or much memory of what was in the last contest)::

[annathepiper]

Soft core porn sf counts?

It only counted in the last round because that was one of the movies kathrynt happened to bring me; it aired on the USA network or the Sci-Fi channel or something, which is how she scarfed it. Let us say that if it's fit to air on the Sci-Fi channel, it's fair game. Mostly because soft core porn would bore me silly. ;)

The Crawling Eye got MSTed, if that's any indicator to you of its quality. That's first season MST3K! We have it on tape. I'm disturbed to hear that there was a remake, but not surprised!

I think I've heard of The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant (or whatever its actual title may be), but haven't seen it!

[twistdfateangel.livejournal.com]

How to Make A Monster
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281919/

[annathepiper]

Hrmm! Hrmm! I'll see what I can do. Thanks!

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

I thought of this just a little too late for your summer run at this, so hoping you haven't seen it in the meantime . . .

"Werewolves on Wheels."

& if non-sf/f/horror movies get to make the rounds, you probably have had the good luck never to see "29 Palms".

Everything else I can think of you've almost certainly seen.

[annathepiper]

Werewolves on Wheels.... oooookay!

Non-SF/F/horror is acceptable if the movie still falls into that magic spot of "sucking, but not so bad that you can't enjoy making fun of it". In other words, if it's MSTable, it's fair game!

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

In that case, "29 Palms". And Werewolves on Wheels is a *must*.

And I've never seen it, but there's something out there called "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter", w/a tag line about vampires no longer fearing the sun, "But now they will learn to fear the son again; the son of God" or something like that. A friend told me about it years ago. It should be perfect.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

If you're only picking one movie per peron, WoW is def my pick of my suggestions, but while I *loved* Billy The Kid vs. Dracula when I saw it in 2d or 3rd grade, I suspect by adult standards it would suck, and be funnily bad.

[annathepiper]

I don't really have a formal rule going on here--the real determinant will be which of the movies I can actually find and rent close enough to my surgery that the rental period will overlap with my recovery. ;)

But I'm thinkin' Frogs is probably a major contender!

[annathepiper]

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter. Wow. That sounds like it has potential, too. Possibly put up against Werewolves on Wheels. Ha!

[wrog]

Frogs

[annathepiper]

Ooh, you've mentioned this one to me before, haven't you? But I think this would suit my current mood well. I may have another contender. ;)

[wrog]

it does depend on which particular kind of Bad you want.

I mean any of Casino Royale or the Dream Sequence from the Thunderbirds Movie or any episode from the Planet of the Apes TV series can satisfy particular specific cravings for Bad, but they're all quite different, so...

[wrog]

and of course "The Rules of Luton", which given the total block solarbird has on it, may indeed count as Not Actually Seen Yet. It is a Rather Important Cultural Milestone, being, as it is, the "Spock's Brain" of 2nd season Space:1999.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Space: 1999 -- I'd forgotten that existed. I had a huge crush on Maya back in 6th grade or so!

[wrog]

mmmmm, Catherine Schell. You will, necessarily have seen Return of the Pink Panther. Also Madame Sin.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Alas, no to either. Nor even heard of the latter. But now I must look for them. Thanks. =)

[solarbird]

You? Please to be shutting the hell right up now. Kthx.

[wrog]

pronounced LOO'-TAHN' (equal stress on both syllables). As opposed to the airport near Cambridge (from which Freddy F. derived his inspiration), which is pronounced by the locals as Loo'-tən.

[solarbird]

You're only doing this because firni is out of town and I can't sic her on you.

[wrog]

I figure it's like that Twilight Zone episode ... ooo, found it, and the quote I was looking for (thank you, Google):

After the former SS officer goes mad, the attending doctor looks around the remains of the camp and asks, "Dachau. Why does it still stand? Why do we keep it standing?"

Rod Serling reappears:

"There is an answer to the doctor's question. All the Dachaus must remain standing. The Dachaus, the Belsens, the Buchenwalds, the Auschwitzes - all of them. They must remain standing because they are a monument to a moment in time when some men decided to turn the Earth into a graveyard. Into it they shoveled all of their reason, their logic, their knowledge, but worst of all, their conscience. And the moment we forget this, the moment we cease to be haunted by its remembrance, then we become the gravediggers. Something to dwell on and to remember, not only in the Twilight Zone but wherever men walk God's Earth.

I can't believe I just did that

[wrog]

yes, 2nd Season Space:1999 == The Holocaust, in case you were wondering.

</godwin>

[solarbird]

you

are a men'al case.

[annathepiper]

HA! As you'll have seen, "2nd season Space:1999" are dirty words in this house. ;)

[wrog]

and you're not even curious about the episode where 2nd Season Space:1999 jumps the shark and gets Too Stupid Even For 2nd Season Space:1999.

Ah, well... Frogs then.

[annathepiper]

Frogs it is, and I have in fact acquired it! It's going up against The Stuff!

[parabasis.livejournal.com]

Rocky Horror Picture Show II: Shock Treatment. Oh so awful in a deliciously fun way. XD

[annathepiper]

Seen it! Good try, though. Because oh my yes it does bring the Suck. ;)