A REALLY hard day at work

[annathepiper]

Last night, at the Burning Hand during the dinner and highly enjoyable conversation in honor of kathrynt's mother's 60th birthday, I learned the following valuable lesson:

No matter how much I might bitch about my job, I am deeply grateful that at no point during in my career as a software tester or a localization engineer have I ever had to try to take the temperature of a rhinoceros by sticking a thermometer up its backside, having my arm get stuck, getting dragged behind the beast as it wakes up and starts charging across the African savannah, getting inundated by rhino poo when my arm actually comes loose, being chased by the same rhino as it realizes that the thing that pissed it off is in fact BEHIND it, reaching my Land Rover and frantically jumping into it only to land on a bullet full of the same stuff I'd used to immobilize the rhino, and accordingly having just enough time to scream "HELP!" into my radio before I am completely immobilized and unable to even move the radio handset away from my mouth before the park officials show up to find the rhino scratching its shoulders against my vehicle.

And, on top of it all, not even getting the rhino's actual temperature.

Kathryn's dad tells excellent stories.

Also, the smoked salmon was superb, especially with the wine recommended by Kathryn, and so was the cheesecake and peach-and-plum-crumble made by emmacrew. Between the food and the conversation, a fabulous gathering all around.

More Friday morning miles: 0.2 (walk from bus stop to building 50)
Friday evening miles: 2.45 (walking)
Miles out of Hobbiton: 345.55
Miles to Rivendell: 112.45

Comments

[framlingem.livejournal.com]

Mm. That certainly sounds like The Worst Day Ever.

*dies of laughter*

Poor man.

[annathepiper]

This was, fortunately, not actually Kathryn's father that suffered this incredibly hard day--but he did claim that it was presented to him as a true story.

Apparently this was some biologist or other, thirty some-odd-years ago, who was trying to research how rhinos actually regulate their internal temperature. They have no sweat glands in their skin, they live on the highest and hottest parts of the savannah, and they don't have large ears like elephants with which to dissipate the heat. So this gent was extremely curious as to how rhinos go about controlling their body heat.

Logically enough, he decided that the first initial piece of data he needed was the internal temperature of a rhinoceros. However, he was in Glasgow at the time, which was not really the best place to take a rhino's temperature, so off to Africa he goes.

Also, the way Mr. Tewson described it, the stuff the scientist had used to immobilize the rhino had something on the order of 17,000 times the potency of heroin. I mean, WOW.

I'm trying to look this up on Google to verify the story, but so far I haven't been able to find it yet. But true or not, it was a most excellent tale! ;)

[framlingem.livejournal.com]

A most excellent tale it is, truly. I'm so glad I'm not going to be a wildlife biologist - nope, I'm going to be the person who puts together what the wildlife biologists tell me, and figure out What It All Means on a Global Scale.

Yup-yup.

[annathepiper]

This should, happily, keep you far away from rhinos! ;)

[technoshaman.livejournal.com]

Oh, jeez, if the poor chap got rhino-strength stuff, I'm surprised it didn't kill him outright...

I do believe that's a harder day at work than I've ever had.

[annathepiper]

Yeah, one has got to wonder how long it took that stuff to get out of his system, and why it didn't stop the poor guy's heart. Yow!

And yeah, say what you will about Microsoft, all of my work years there have been rhino-free. ;)

[apel.livejournal.com]

*is fervently grateful for her current rhino-free job*

Uh, Anna what's up with the teeny font in the comment text box? I can hardly read it.

[annathepiper]

Um! The comment box's text is part of this particular journal layout, I fear; I'd already gunned it up a size because its default is REALLY tiny. I've already customized it on mine, but let me see if I can gun it up another size or two to make it more readable. (I'm using this layout only as a stand-in until I can figure out exactly how I want to really customize this journal again.)

And oh my yes, I'm glad to have a distinct lack of rhino in my job. ;)

[annathepiper]

I have now tweaked my journal over to a new layout.

I think what was going on is that the Tranquility II layout was invoking Quick Reply on the "Leave a Comment" link (as opposed to on the "Reply" links on individual comments, which confuses me), and since that's apparently builtin code, I couldn't easily figure out how to customize it. Foo.

So time to play with a new layout. What do you think?

[kaseido.livejournal.com]

Gotta say - compared to the 10 years I spent as a lawyer turning last year's documents into this year's documents - I'd trade in a heartbeat.

16 ways of getting killed in one day? At least it's outside in the sunshine... :P

[annathepiper]

Fresh air, sunshine, exercise, and the bracing scent of rhino poo!

There are, I grant, some days when I would in fact trade in a heartbeat, but not many!

[annathepiper]

Yes, quite. ;)

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Hilarious story! It sounds plausible, too.

I have had the, um, opportunity to observe rhinoceri (logically, the plural should be "rhinoceroi," but what can you do?), while they were in the act of shitting. And it is a prodigious sight, I can tell you. Both times, I observed the phenomenon in an unprofessional capacity, from a safe distance, while I was in a car. Even so, considering the size of the output, I can easily imagine how a person could get his whole arm through a rhinoceros rectum, and that inundation would be just the right word for what happened when the arm came free.

[annathepiper]

Wow! Where were you at the time of this observation?

I need to get Kathryn to ask her dad what the name of this gent was. It came up in the context of Mr. Tewson and Kathryn's brother daspatrick having a chemistry geek argument, and the name Woodward came up. Apparently the rhino researcher was a colleague/friend of Woodward, but I didn't catch the name of the actual researcher, so I'm having trouble Googling the story.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Dan and I were in South Africa, at Kruger National Park, doing the tourist thing. The animals are in charge in large swaths of Kruger, but if you have common sense and follow the guidelines, you can observe the animals from pretty close up. We found a family of four rhinos at a watering hole and spent about half an hour watching them bathe and frolic before they took off into the bush.

[annathepiper]

WOW. That had to be an awesome experience in general. (And I use "awesome" in the sense of "awe-inspiring", though the sense of "incredibly cool" also applies, here!)

So I guess when it comes to watching rhinos, "common sense" means "keep a safe distance and try to look as little like food or a rival predator as possible"?

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Yes, and never, ever get out of the car unless you're in one of the little electric-fenced compounds. At all the gates into the park, the gatehouses had prominently displayed photos of Bad Things that happened to foolish tourists. An elephant, apparently, can pick up a car with its tusks and flip it over. Anything with horns or tusks is tougher than your vehicle, and way, way tougher than you.

It was a great trip; awe was a daily occurrence.

We were there just before Christmas, so it was high summer. Very odd, to find Christmas decorations out in the arid bits of the bush on sweltering days. To cope with how car-claustrophobic we got on our game viewing expeditions, Dan and I made up filks of seasonal carols. Our favorite was:

See them grazing all before us
Impala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
More and more come out of the forest
Impala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Quite prolific little breeders
Impala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
So the lions can be feeders
Impala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

[annathepiper]

Playing the LJ comment catchup game today, and found this waiting in the queue. I had to drop it a reply just to let you know that I saw it--and to snicker at it mightily, especially because of the carol. :D

I can just bet that it was very strange to see those Christmas decorations in arid weather!

Rhino-free job..

[(Anonymous)]

So far,no rhinos at my job. Rats,mice,bugs,spiders and the occassional raccoon or rabbit, but no rhinos. If a rhino shows up, I'm not taking his temperature...Scott

Re: Rhino-free job..

[annathepiper]

I'd like to hope there aren't any rhinos wandering around Kentucky hospitals, yes. :)