I mean, DAMN
Nov. 29th, 2004 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annathepiperBrace yourselves, folks--this is me ranting in-depth about the decline and fall of the Anita Blake series. I haven't actually read the latest book, but after seeing a particularly choice wonderbunny of a sentence quoted out of Incubus Dreams, I just had to get this out of my system.
Okay, I'll admit, even back in the early days of the Anita Blake series, Laurell K. Hamilton's writing was never particularly good. Even from the very first book, her tendency to spend paragraphs of detail describing the allegedly sexy outfits her characters were wearing--and to conclude each with "... concluded the outfit"--drove me nuts.
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solarbird chimes in that it's the "*whuf!*" of her outfit descriptions. This makes sense only if you are acquainted with our parrot Zoe, for whom a common quote is "BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK *whuf!*". In LKH's case, this sequence would be, "BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK *concluded the outfit!*")
Anyway, to a lesser degree, LKH's tendency for gratuitous gore also annoyed me. For several of the early Anita Blakes there was always one scene which was pretty much intended to gross out the reader. Just the imagery of a carpet soaked with enough blood that you could feel it squelching underfoot was pretty up there on the Gross-Out-O-Meter, and that was a mild day for LKH gore. But. Those scenes were memorable in their way.
Other things about her early writing are memorable to me on a level above that, too. Back then, she was capable of some interesting character ideas and vivid images. I really liked her Oldest Vampire On Earth--the little guy who was perhaps old enough to be Australopithecus rather than Homo Sapiens. And I liked--even though the notion might make me sneer in some ways as well--the vamp who was actually one of the Sidhe before he got vamped, because that actually made for a pretty spooky and unusual vampire. And I really liked that vamp NPC who willingly immolated in daylight, surrounded by a cloud of butterflies. That was a powerful image.
Now, we have the following quote from Incubus Dreams:
"It took him a blink to get the joke, but once he did, he started to laugh, and since he was still inside me, that made me writhe, which made him thrust inside me again, which made me writhe again, which made him writhe, which..."
The ellipsis is LKH's. And all I can say to this is DAMN. I've seen better-written sentences in tinysex scenes on MUSHes. I've written better sentences in tinysex scenes on MUSHes.
As I have mentioned before on my journal, I'm still peeved that she torpedoed Richard as a character. I have heard tell of the opinions of others that Richard always really was a passive-aggressive asshole and that his most recent appearances really have only brought to light something that was at the core of his character all along, and to some degree I can buy that. But. From a storytelling standpoint, I'm still annoyed and disgusted that she spent books on end setting up how Anita, Richard, and Jean-Claude were going to be not only a romantic triad but also a supernatural triad with power that would arguably make them the most badassed power in the eastern half of the United States--a situation that felt rife with potential for gritty, gripping storytelling to me--and she's now torpedoed this in favor of going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how many men Anita is shagging and sprinkling the occasional grains of plot in among the kinky sex.
I haven't read Incubus Dreams. After seeing that sentence I've quoted above, after hearing the testimony of others that her editor has apparently taken a hiatus (due to the profusion of spelling and grammatical errors), and hearing about the sex scene that goes on for THREE CHAPTERS, I don't intend to waste my money.
I will, however, sigh and lament the days when LKH used to actually entertain me with a story. Like I said, her writing's never been all that good. The title of the very first Anita Blake, Guilty Pleasures, really rather applies to the whole series--but time was when her writing was still fun.
Sorry, Laurell. You're not fun anymore.
Okay, I'll admit, even back in the early days of the Anita Blake series, Laurell K. Hamilton's writing was never particularly good. Even from the very first book, her tendency to spend paragraphs of detail describing the allegedly sexy outfits her characters were wearing--and to conclude each with "... concluded the outfit"--drove me nuts.
(
solarbird chimes in that it's the "*whuf!*" of her outfit descriptions. This makes sense only if you are acquainted with our parrot Zoe, for whom a common quote is "BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK *whuf!*". In LKH's case, this sequence would be, "BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK a BRAK a BRAK BRAK *concluded the outfit!*")Anyway, to a lesser degree, LKH's tendency for gratuitous gore also annoyed me. For several of the early Anita Blakes there was always one scene which was pretty much intended to gross out the reader. Just the imagery of a carpet soaked with enough blood that you could feel it squelching underfoot was pretty up there on the Gross-Out-O-Meter, and that was a mild day for LKH gore. But. Those scenes were memorable in their way.
Other things about her early writing are memorable to me on a level above that, too. Back then, she was capable of some interesting character ideas and vivid images. I really liked her Oldest Vampire On Earth--the little guy who was perhaps old enough to be Australopithecus rather than Homo Sapiens. And I liked--even though the notion might make me sneer in some ways as well--the vamp who was actually one of the Sidhe before he got vamped, because that actually made for a pretty spooky and unusual vampire. And I really liked that vamp NPC who willingly immolated in daylight, surrounded by a cloud of butterflies. That was a powerful image.
Now, we have the following quote from Incubus Dreams:
"It took him a blink to get the joke, but once he did, he started to laugh, and since he was still inside me, that made me writhe, which made him thrust inside me again, which made me writhe again, which made him writhe, which..."
The ellipsis is LKH's. And all I can say to this is DAMN. I've seen better-written sentences in tinysex scenes on MUSHes. I've written better sentences in tinysex scenes on MUSHes.
As I have mentioned before on my journal, I'm still peeved that she torpedoed Richard as a character. I have heard tell of the opinions of others that Richard always really was a passive-aggressive asshole and that his most recent appearances really have only brought to light something that was at the core of his character all along, and to some degree I can buy that. But. From a storytelling standpoint, I'm still annoyed and disgusted that she spent books on end setting up how Anita, Richard, and Jean-Claude were going to be not only a romantic triad but also a supernatural triad with power that would arguably make them the most badassed power in the eastern half of the United States--a situation that felt rife with potential for gritty, gripping storytelling to me--and she's now torpedoed this in favor of going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how many men Anita is shagging and sprinkling the occasional grains of plot in among the kinky sex.
I haven't read Incubus Dreams. After seeing that sentence I've quoted above, after hearing the testimony of others that her editor has apparently taken a hiatus (due to the profusion of spelling and grammatical errors), and hearing about the sex scene that goes on for THREE CHAPTERS, I don't intend to waste my money.
I will, however, sigh and lament the days when LKH used to actually entertain me with a story. Like I said, her writing's never been all that good. The title of the very first Anita Blake, Guilty Pleasures, really rather applies to the whole series--but time was when her writing was still fun.
Sorry, Laurell. You're not fun anymore.