BWAHAHAHAHA
Dec. 3rd, 2003 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annathepiperThis is a thing of beauty, relayed to me by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ladymondegreen. It apparently came off the OKP some time ago, and I somehow managed to miss this! HEE! I unfortunately do not know the original author, but I cannot stop grinning at the mental picture of Alan Doyle surrounded by adoring Muppet chickens. :D
Kermit comes onstage and announces:
"IT'S THE MUPPET SHOW, WITH OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST STARS, GREAT BIG SEA!!! YAAAAAA!!!" (much applause, theme song plays, etc.)
The guys' first tune is "The Night Pat Murphy Died" -- sort of. The stage set is a parlour that's been made up to look like a house in Petty Harbour (or Outer Cove, or Gull Island -- you know what we mean!) There are many rats surrounding the boys -- Yolanda is the weeping Mrs. Murphy (oh, all right, she's also having a nip or two and seems willing to be comforted by the sympathetic Alan), and Rizzo is nicely laid out in the part of Pat Murphy. Séan strikes that first chord and begins, "Oh, the night that Paddy Murphy died--"
Rizzo (sitting up in a most un-corpse-like fashion): "Ratty!"
Séan: "Excuse me?"
Rizzo: "It's, 'The night that _Ratty_ Murphy died!"
Séan: "Oh, right, I'm sorry... 'Oh, the night that Ratty Murphy died is a night I'll never forget...'" The song continues in this vein, with many little Muppet rats singing harmony and the "found out when they got there, they'd left the corpse behind!" line punctuated by the coffin jumping up and running after the merry-making rats (who will be banging into the guys and making playing somewhat difficult!) As the rats dance out the door, Statler turns to Waldorf and remarks, "This whole show would be better off dead! Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
By the time the number ends, all the bandmembers are in pretty good humour. They leave the stage congratulating the rats on their great acting and singing talents, Alan is telling Yolanda what a wonderful Mrs. Murphy she was, and the stage is such a mess that Kermit is having doubts about the wisdom of having invited the boys to be guests.
The next sketch, Pigs In Space, features the crew of the spaceship landing on a strange planet, populated by friendly aliens -- the ship lands and the first person they encounter is Alan, whose greeting is, of course, "Whattaya at?" The ship's crew doesn't understand what he means, so the rest of the group appear and explain the term by bursting into song. Which leads to both a great singalong, and Miss Piggy's sudden realization that Séan is very cute. Unfortunately for the sketch, she is unable to control herself and proceeds to chase him off-stage. Darrell and Alan are flattened by the speed of her pursuit. Bob (who is no fool) seeks refuge with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, and spends the rest of the show hanging out with them.
After the mess is cleaned up, a shaken Kermit introduces the Swedish chef sketch, which features Darrell teaching the chef to cook a traditional Newfoundland meal. The chef hands Darrell an apron and a chef's hat (which he hides under the table while the chef is off fetching "Der codfish!") Which he produces with a flourish -- in a large pot full of water. The codfish sticks his head out of the water and decides that he does not want to be part of the menu, so when Darrell and the chef try to pick him up he swats them both with his tail and flops hastily off.
[After the cod belts Darrell and the Swedish Chef and flees, cut to Statler and Waldorf, one turns to the other and says "I knew there was something fishy about this show... OH-ho-ho-ho!!" ]
The first person the codfish encounters is Alan, who is teaching Gonzo and the chickens to play hockey. Alan has such a nice sympathetic face that the fish appeals to him for help, which is nearly disastrous for him (the fish, not Alan). Darrell appears and calls to Alan that he's looking for a cod. Alan and the fish exchange looks and the fish knows he’s in big trouble. Alan makes a dive at the fish, who slithers out of his grip and dashes off at pretty good speed considering he has no legs (Alan may make this remark to a chicken as he picks himself up off the floor.) The codfish flees into the back of the theatre and ends up hiding in a broom closet. When Darrell comes along and opens the door, however, Séan sticks his head out and announces that there is no fish in there, now go away before Miss Piggy shows up again. Darrell moves on, but hard on his heels comes Miss Piggy, who opens the door only to be told by the codfish that Séan isn't in there, now go away before the chef and Darrell come back. As soon as the coast is clear, both of them look cautiously out the door (picture Séan peeking out first and looking in one direction, then the fish looking in the other). As soon as they’re sure they're temporarily safe, they shake hands, er, fins, -- you know what I mean! -- and tiptoe/fin away in opposite directions.
Séan then encounters Bob and his new friends, who are playing a few tunes. Bob is teaching Zoot to play the accordion, but not having much luck (you know how inflexible Muppet hands are!) Séan sits down and joins in on the bodhran (which he’s been carrying around with him since he ran offstage earlier). Animal takes one look at this great new percussion instrument and tries to eat it. Séan and Bob rescue the bodhran and Séan tries to show Animal how to play it. Animal grabs the tipper from him and attacks the bodhran, until Floyd and Janice intervene. Floyd wants to know, like, what is that thing, man? Séan explains that it's an ancient Celtic drum, made from the skin of a goat --
At which point a goat comes onstage and bleats at them until Fozzie shows up, assures her that she is in no danger, gives Séan a reproachful look, and shepherds her quickly away.
Séan is somewhat flustered but continues with his explanation (the same one he gave on the Wayne Rostad Christmas show, more or less) until he gets to the part about the Celts using the drum to frighten away their enemies. At this point, Animal leaps to his feet and rushes offstage, shouting, "Bodhran! Bodhran! Bodhran!" Séan looks after him in astonishment but Bob and the other Electric Mayhem members do not act as if anything peculiar has occurred. At this point, Janice asks Séan where he learned to play the bodhran, and he replies that is dad is a big fan of the instrument, "because it sounds like a human heart beating." Which is when Miss Piggy turns up and decides to test this theory by listening to Séan’s heart. That lasts about five seconds, which is all it takes for her to try to pounce on Séan again. At this point he runs offstage and the remaining bandmembers shake their heads and go back to what they were doing.
Kermit is finally forced to intervene, convincing Miss Piggy to stop bothering their guests. She reluctantly agrees. In the meantime, Bob has decided to lead the Electric Mayhem in a very animated rendition of "Blister in the Sun". This is roundly criticized by Statler and Waldorf, but with Bob being quicker on his feet than Fozzie these attempts at heckling come to naught. To make the old gentlemen happy Bob calls the rest of the band members to come on stage and play "Greenspond", which is quite successful at mollifying the two, who even decide to dance along! (There’s not much room to do a reel in their balcony, but the two old gents make do just fine!)
The next sketch involves the Newfoundland version of a mobster film: "The Codfather." The codfish is dressed up as a mobster, complete with fedora and black suit, and is interrogating the luckless Fozzie, who is playing some mobster who screwed up. Just as they're getting to the point where the wheezy codfish is about to instruct Rizzo (as one of his henchmen) to fit Fozzie for cement overshoes, there's a banging on the door. It flies open to reveal -- not the Untouchables, but Darrell and the Swedish chef. The cast of the sketch all flee, leading Statler and Waldorf to remark that the show's a lot better when somebody’s trying to cook the cast. Kermit crosses the stage at that moment and the old guys shout, "How about frogs' legs?" Kermit hastily ducks behind the curtain.
Alan is sitting peacefully backstage (surrounded by adoring chickens and Yolanda the rat) tuning his bouzouki, when Kermit, who is pretty rattled, comes up and apologizes for how crazy things have been tonight. Alan gives him a grin (you know the one) and says "Hey buddy, this is nothing compared to the kitchen parties we have back in Petty Harbour." Alan pats Kermit on the back, then heads onstage accompanied by his complement of chickens. Kermit makes that strangled sort of "Urk!" sound, then heads out to introduce the band again.
The next musical number is "The Jolly Butcher", with Kermit and Miss Piggy as the butcher and the fair young maid. By the end of the song Miss Piggy has decided that she doesn't care for the outcome, karates Kermit, then Alan for good measure, and chases Séan off the stage, leaving Kermit to cope with the confused bandmembers and extremely agitated chickens.
By the end of the show, Kermit is having a nervous breakdown, all of the chickens are wild about hockey (and Alan), Darrell and the chef are still in hot pursuit of the codfish, the codfish and Séan have become good friends out of pure necessity, Miss Piggy is on a real rampage, and Bob is still hanging with the Electric Mayhem, entertaining the idea of joining them permanently if his own band doesn't make it out of the show in one piece.
Kermit, shaking visibly, comes out to announce that the last number will be "Goin' Up." This one starts pretty well, with the chickens flapping about and the rats joining in on harmony, until Miss Piggy appears and the chef notices that the fish is hiding behind Séan. At this point the song switches (appropriately enough) to "Run Runaway" -- which everybody does, what with Darrell and the chef pursuing the codfish, Miss Piggy after Séan, Alan being spun around in all directions as the chase wheels around him, and Bob retreating to a safe vantage point to watch the mayhem with Floyd, Janice, and the rest of the band. The stage is completely trashed, there are hysterical chickens all over the place, Gonzo and/or Rizzo get in Miss Piggy's way and are karated all the way up to Statler and Waldorf's balcony... it's a real mess.
By the end of the show, however, reason prevails and the band come out onstage to say goodnight. Bob has asked Animal to restrain Miss Piggy until they make their escape, Séan has convinced Darrell to swear off cod tongues, Alan is inviting the chickens to come see him in Petty Harbour -- "and bring your skates!" -- and Kermit invites the guys to come back, only not soon.
=====
--Batya toon type clone person
ladymondegreen. It apparently came off the OKP some time ago, and I somehow managed to miss this! HEE! I unfortunately do not know the original author, but I cannot stop grinning at the mental picture of Alan Doyle surrounded by adoring Muppet chickens. :DKermit comes onstage and announces:
"IT'S THE MUPPET SHOW, WITH OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST STARS, GREAT BIG SEA!!! YAAAAAA!!!" (much applause, theme song plays, etc.)
The guys' first tune is "The Night Pat Murphy Died" -- sort of. The stage set is a parlour that's been made up to look like a house in Petty Harbour (or Outer Cove, or Gull Island -- you know what we mean!) There are many rats surrounding the boys -- Yolanda is the weeping Mrs. Murphy (oh, all right, she's also having a nip or two and seems willing to be comforted by the sympathetic Alan), and Rizzo is nicely laid out in the part of Pat Murphy. Séan strikes that first chord and begins, "Oh, the night that Paddy Murphy died--"
Rizzo (sitting up in a most un-corpse-like fashion): "Ratty!"
Séan: "Excuse me?"
Rizzo: "It's, 'The night that _Ratty_ Murphy died!"
Séan: "Oh, right, I'm sorry... 'Oh, the night that Ratty Murphy died is a night I'll never forget...'" The song continues in this vein, with many little Muppet rats singing harmony and the "found out when they got there, they'd left the corpse behind!" line punctuated by the coffin jumping up and running after the merry-making rats (who will be banging into the guys and making playing somewhat difficult!) As the rats dance out the door, Statler turns to Waldorf and remarks, "This whole show would be better off dead! Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
By the time the number ends, all the bandmembers are in pretty good humour. They leave the stage congratulating the rats on their great acting and singing talents, Alan is telling Yolanda what a wonderful Mrs. Murphy she was, and the stage is such a mess that Kermit is having doubts about the wisdom of having invited the boys to be guests.
The next sketch, Pigs In Space, features the crew of the spaceship landing on a strange planet, populated by friendly aliens -- the ship lands and the first person they encounter is Alan, whose greeting is, of course, "Whattaya at?" The ship's crew doesn't understand what he means, so the rest of the group appear and explain the term by bursting into song. Which leads to both a great singalong, and Miss Piggy's sudden realization that Séan is very cute. Unfortunately for the sketch, she is unable to control herself and proceeds to chase him off-stage. Darrell and Alan are flattened by the speed of her pursuit. Bob (who is no fool) seeks refuge with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, and spends the rest of the show hanging out with them.
After the mess is cleaned up, a shaken Kermit introduces the Swedish chef sketch, which features Darrell teaching the chef to cook a traditional Newfoundland meal. The chef hands Darrell an apron and a chef's hat (which he hides under the table while the chef is off fetching "Der codfish!") Which he produces with a flourish -- in a large pot full of water. The codfish sticks his head out of the water and decides that he does not want to be part of the menu, so when Darrell and the chef try to pick him up he swats them both with his tail and flops hastily off.
[After the cod belts Darrell and the Swedish Chef and flees, cut to Statler and Waldorf, one turns to the other and says "I knew there was something fishy about this show... OH-ho-ho-ho!!" ]
The first person the codfish encounters is Alan, who is teaching Gonzo and the chickens to play hockey. Alan has such a nice sympathetic face that the fish appeals to him for help, which is nearly disastrous for him (the fish, not Alan). Darrell appears and calls to Alan that he's looking for a cod. Alan and the fish exchange looks and the fish knows he’s in big trouble. Alan makes a dive at the fish, who slithers out of his grip and dashes off at pretty good speed considering he has no legs (Alan may make this remark to a chicken as he picks himself up off the floor.) The codfish flees into the back of the theatre and ends up hiding in a broom closet. When Darrell comes along and opens the door, however, Séan sticks his head out and announces that there is no fish in there, now go away before Miss Piggy shows up again. Darrell moves on, but hard on his heels comes Miss Piggy, who opens the door only to be told by the codfish that Séan isn't in there, now go away before the chef and Darrell come back. As soon as the coast is clear, both of them look cautiously out the door (picture Séan peeking out first and looking in one direction, then the fish looking in the other). As soon as they’re sure they're temporarily safe, they shake hands, er, fins, -- you know what I mean! -- and tiptoe/fin away in opposite directions.
Séan then encounters Bob and his new friends, who are playing a few tunes. Bob is teaching Zoot to play the accordion, but not having much luck (you know how inflexible Muppet hands are!) Séan sits down and joins in on the bodhran (which he’s been carrying around with him since he ran offstage earlier). Animal takes one look at this great new percussion instrument and tries to eat it. Séan and Bob rescue the bodhran and Séan tries to show Animal how to play it. Animal grabs the tipper from him and attacks the bodhran, until Floyd and Janice intervene. Floyd wants to know, like, what is that thing, man? Séan explains that it's an ancient Celtic drum, made from the skin of a goat --
At which point a goat comes onstage and bleats at them until Fozzie shows up, assures her that she is in no danger, gives Séan a reproachful look, and shepherds her quickly away.
Séan is somewhat flustered but continues with his explanation (the same one he gave on the Wayne Rostad Christmas show, more or less) until he gets to the part about the Celts using the drum to frighten away their enemies. At this point, Animal leaps to his feet and rushes offstage, shouting, "Bodhran! Bodhran! Bodhran!" Séan looks after him in astonishment but Bob and the other Electric Mayhem members do not act as if anything peculiar has occurred. At this point, Janice asks Séan where he learned to play the bodhran, and he replies that is dad is a big fan of the instrument, "because it sounds like a human heart beating." Which is when Miss Piggy turns up and decides to test this theory by listening to Séan’s heart. That lasts about five seconds, which is all it takes for her to try to pounce on Séan again. At this point he runs offstage and the remaining bandmembers shake their heads and go back to what they were doing.
Kermit is finally forced to intervene, convincing Miss Piggy to stop bothering their guests. She reluctantly agrees. In the meantime, Bob has decided to lead the Electric Mayhem in a very animated rendition of "Blister in the Sun". This is roundly criticized by Statler and Waldorf, but with Bob being quicker on his feet than Fozzie these attempts at heckling come to naught. To make the old gentlemen happy Bob calls the rest of the band members to come on stage and play "Greenspond", which is quite successful at mollifying the two, who even decide to dance along! (There’s not much room to do a reel in their balcony, but the two old gents make do just fine!)
The next sketch involves the Newfoundland version of a mobster film: "The Codfather." The codfish is dressed up as a mobster, complete with fedora and black suit, and is interrogating the luckless Fozzie, who is playing some mobster who screwed up. Just as they're getting to the point where the wheezy codfish is about to instruct Rizzo (as one of his henchmen) to fit Fozzie for cement overshoes, there's a banging on the door. It flies open to reveal -- not the Untouchables, but Darrell and the Swedish chef. The cast of the sketch all flee, leading Statler and Waldorf to remark that the show's a lot better when somebody’s trying to cook the cast. Kermit crosses the stage at that moment and the old guys shout, "How about frogs' legs?" Kermit hastily ducks behind the curtain.
Alan is sitting peacefully backstage (surrounded by adoring chickens and Yolanda the rat) tuning his bouzouki, when Kermit, who is pretty rattled, comes up and apologizes for how crazy things have been tonight. Alan gives him a grin (you know the one) and says "Hey buddy, this is nothing compared to the kitchen parties we have back in Petty Harbour." Alan pats Kermit on the back, then heads onstage accompanied by his complement of chickens. Kermit makes that strangled sort of "Urk!" sound, then heads out to introduce the band again.
The next musical number is "The Jolly Butcher", with Kermit and Miss Piggy as the butcher and the fair young maid. By the end of the song Miss Piggy has decided that she doesn't care for the outcome, karates Kermit, then Alan for good measure, and chases Séan off the stage, leaving Kermit to cope with the confused bandmembers and extremely agitated chickens.
By the end of the show, Kermit is having a nervous breakdown, all of the chickens are wild about hockey (and Alan), Darrell and the chef are still in hot pursuit of the codfish, the codfish and Séan have become good friends out of pure necessity, Miss Piggy is on a real rampage, and Bob is still hanging with the Electric Mayhem, entertaining the idea of joining them permanently if his own band doesn't make it out of the show in one piece.
Kermit, shaking visibly, comes out to announce that the last number will be "Goin' Up." This one starts pretty well, with the chickens flapping about and the rats joining in on harmony, until Miss Piggy appears and the chef notices that the fish is hiding behind Séan. At this point the song switches (appropriately enough) to "Run Runaway" -- which everybody does, what with Darrell and the chef pursuing the codfish, Miss Piggy after Séan, Alan being spun around in all directions as the chase wheels around him, and Bob retreating to a safe vantage point to watch the mayhem with Floyd, Janice, and the rest of the band. The stage is completely trashed, there are hysterical chickens all over the place, Gonzo and/or Rizzo get in Miss Piggy's way and are karated all the way up to Statler and Waldorf's balcony... it's a real mess.
By the end of the show, however, reason prevails and the band come out onstage to say goodnight. Bob has asked Animal to restrain Miss Piggy until they make their escape, Séan has convinced Darrell to swear off cod tongues, Alan is inviting the chickens to come see him in Petty Harbour -- "and bring your skates!" -- and Kermit invites the guys to come back, only not soon.
=====
--Batya toon type clone person
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Date: 2003-12-03 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-03 10:13 pm (UTC)I can just see Miss Piggy now flinging herself against Séan and squealing in that high-pitched way of hers, "Séannie!"
And Animal scampering around the theater screaming "BODH-RAN! BODH-RAN! BODH-RAN!" and probably bonking everything in sight with the tipper!
And Bob playing "Blister in the Sun" with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem!
And the coffin bouncing after the rats in the middle of "Paddy Murphy"!
And the Swedish chef sketch starting off:
Chef: Hern de hoon de cookin de Newfoundland! Un hurn ge hurn de cookin de Newfoundland, ge hurn de--Newfoundlander!" *points at Darrell*
Darrell: "Hi folks!"
HEE!
Now my brain's also trying to come up with a suitable musical segue from "Goin' Up" to "Run Runaway", because in order to maintain the proper level of hectic mayhem for the finale, the B'ys can't stop playing!