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annathepiperGod fucking dammit.
Some of you may be aware, Internets, that I had to have a medical thing done last week. The short not-TMI version of this was that I had a hysteroscopy due to weirdness in my menstrual cycles. I had previously been wondering whether this was due to my going perimenopausal due to being in my mid-40′s, but given my previous history with my thyroidectomy and my stage 0 breast cancer, I had it strongly recommended to me that we should have my uterus checked out just to be sure.
I just got called with the pathology results from the sample they took out. The phrase “pre-cancerous change” was used in the conversation I had with the doctor.
And he recommended we have my uterus out. And my ovaries and tubes as well.
I am to come in on the 10th for a followup appointment to discuss these results and what my options are moving forward.
I wanted to be done with having to have parts of my body cut out due to threatening to turn into cancer.
But apparently I’m not.
God fucking dammit.
ETA: To everybody who’s been expressing their support to me on the various sites I’ve posted this news to, thank you.
At this point I’m mostly just tired and numb. I can’t even manage to muster any real rage for this–because as I told the doctor when he called me with the news, part of me was half-expecting something like this as worst case scenario just because I have been down this road before. I do have a history of portions of my body up and deciding to pull shit like this.
I can deal with it, I know I can at this point just because I have before, and I’m at least grateful that this time around I had a couple of years’ breathing room to get my strength back.
Right now though all I can think of is Tommy in O Brother Where Art Thou?, when Delmer boggles at him about trading his immortal soul to the Devil in exchange for being taught how to play the guitar. Tommy’s answer was a laconic “well, I wasn’t usin’ it!”
I would just like to now protest that losing my uterus WILL NOT IN FACT IMPROVE MY GUITAR PLAYING. Something seems medically awry here. I feel like I should be getting some kind of musical superpower out of this deal.
Mirrored from angelahighland.com.
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no subject
Date: 2013-10-02 09:41 pm (UTC)It's been 15 years this month since I had my uterus out and a few months shy of 10 years since I had my ovaries out. Please let me know if there are any questions I can answer or anything I can do to help.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-02 09:50 pm (UTC)THE INFORMATION CONTENT OF THIS WEB PAGE IS RISING. PLEASE MAN THE TMI BILGE PUMPS
Date: 2013-10-02 11:49 pm (UTC)It makes sense and I should've expected it... but... For some reason it sort of weirded me out that someone shaved my pubic hair while I was anaesthetized.
I think I went back to work the following Monday. I was definitely slow, and I was easily winded for several days, there. I was extra tired for at least a month.
I've got an internal scar about 1.5" long where my cervix isn't. Penetrative sex is slightly different - the angles are shifted a bit (because they reattach things as best they can but it's still different), and the first few times I had penetrative sex it was weird (I'm not sure it was noticing the lack of cervix, but something like that). Overall, systems are still functioning reasonably well - I was concerned (both with that surgery and the SURPRISE MENOPAUSE of having my ovaries removed) that I was going to lose my ability to orgasm or have issues with dryness when aroused. Happily, neither has come to pass. I'm still getting busy and having genitally-oriented sexyfuntimes.
Speaking of SURPRISE MENOPAUSE, I'm happy to report that the only menopause symptom I've noticed is that when I use the hot tub at my gym, I sometimes break out in small batches of hives about 24 hours later. I think my skin is more dry generally, so I use more moisturizer in the dry winter months, here. No hot flashes or any of that. I don't know how much being fat ties into that since there's a whole fat/estrogen link, there.
Overall, once I had the hysterectomy, I was pretty psyched about it. I'd had years of menstrual weirdness and spotting and utterly unpredictable cycles and stuff (no endometroitic pain, happily, but still), and then it was all gone and done with.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 01:22 am (UTC)*BIG HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 01:50 am (UTC)Not saying that there's a bright side, but I'm glad to hear at least it was "pre-cancer" and not full-on cancer.
And who knows, maybe there's some entity out there you could contact who would, indeed, trade your uterus for musical ability? Hope springs eternal.
:Hugs: I'm thinking about ya!
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 02:57 am (UTC)Re: THE INFORMATION CONTENT OF THIS WEB PAGE IS RISING. PLEASE MAN THE TMI BILGE PUMPS
Date: 2013-10-03 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:04 am (UTC)Yeah, I do at least take some consolation in how these various medical adventures I've had (well, at least the ones that have involved surgery, as opposed to breaking my arm, or the h. pylori thing) have all been stage-0-level stuff. I.e., they're catching it before it actually becomes a REAL problem. I'm OKAY with that.
Because yeah, keeping tabs on my cousin with the stage 4 cancer and no matter how much shit I'm having to go through, he has it worse. :(
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:12 am (UTC)I will be 93 and feisty with guitar-playing, half-holing-on-the-flute, singing-and-turlutting-in-French superpowers. Also a couple dozen novels. THIS IS MY PLAN, I HAVE PLANNED IT.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:12 am (UTC)Re: THE INFORMATION CONTENT OF THIS WEB PAGE IS RISING. PLEASE MAN THE TMI BILGE PUMPS
Date: 2013-10-03 05:15 am (UTC)So noted on the rest of it. I'll be asking various and sundry important questions of my doctor on the 10th, so we'll see how much of this will and won't be applicable to me.
Thanks for cluing me in.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 06:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 12:20 pm (UTC)if you would like some recovery-time quebecois podcasts made for you, i'd be happy to do that -- i'll be travelling there in the next few weeks.
no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 04:28 pm (UTC)And if you stumble across any Quebec trad I don't already have, because I AM at the point of having to hunt to find the hard-to-get stuff, that'd be awesome.
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Date: 2013-10-03 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-03 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-04 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-04 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-04 11:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-05 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
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