Frogs Vs. The Stuff Vs. Deathbed (2002)
Mar. 8th, 2009 06:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annathepiperFor about the first twenty minutes of Frogs, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
solarbird and I thought that this movie was hands down the most coherent of any of the contenders we'd seen thus far; its chief crime was that it was simply dull. Well that, and also, I don't care how many you strew about the set, frogs are not intimidating. Sorry!
However, once we got the ostensible plot established, it went downhill pretty quickly. The first warning sign was the guy that got killed by, I kid you not, Spanish moss. With a few tarantulas thrown in for good measure.
Then we had random (non-poisonous) snakes strewn around the set and cast members flipping out about them, Ray Milland swearing up and down that nobody was leaving the island (possibly thinking that "if my career's going down in flames I'm taking you all with me"), and constant shots of frogs. Frogs hopping. Frogs croaking. And frogs occasionally looking at the camera as if to indicate that they're masterminding the whole thing.
There were hints about the swamp surrounding the island being over-polluted, and some indications that the reptiles were pissed off about it (and apparently clever enough to knock bottles of chemicals off of shelves in the correct combination to poison a human victim, da hell?), but really, the whole thing made so little sense that all I came away with was OHNOEZ FROGS!
And oh, when it came to incoherent da-hell-itude, The Stuff had it beat. It was clearly aiming for parody, and certainly there are aspects of zombie movie as well as Pod People-type movies here. Several characters were being played as caricatures. But the editing overall was just random--and there wasn't enough Funny to make a real parody out of it.
If nothing else, too, The Stuff wins for its male lead telling everybody how he's called "Mo' Rutherford" because how every time anybody gives him money, he always wants "mo". Grounds for punching, the first time the lead character opens his mouth: WINNAH!
Meanwhile, we took a crack at the incorrectly-rented Deathbed from 2002, not to be confused with Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.solarbird and I were hanging in there even through the boring sex scenes--but flashbacks of child molestation, on camera? NOT COOL. This movie is therefore soundly disqualified from competition.
So tomorrow, we'll see if Death Bed: The Bed That Eats can take down Against the Dark and The Stuff!
solarbird and I thought that this movie was hands down the most coherent of any of the contenders we'd seen thus far; its chief crime was that it was simply dull. Well that, and also, I don't care how many you strew about the set, frogs are not intimidating. Sorry!However, once we got the ostensible plot established, it went downhill pretty quickly. The first warning sign was the guy that got killed by, I kid you not, Spanish moss. With a few tarantulas thrown in for good measure.
Then we had random (non-poisonous) snakes strewn around the set and cast members flipping out about them, Ray Milland swearing up and down that nobody was leaving the island (possibly thinking that "if my career's going down in flames I'm taking you all with me"), and constant shots of frogs. Frogs hopping. Frogs croaking. And frogs occasionally looking at the camera as if to indicate that they're masterminding the whole thing.
There were hints about the swamp surrounding the island being over-polluted, and some indications that the reptiles were pissed off about it (and apparently clever enough to knock bottles of chemicals off of shelves in the correct combination to poison a human victim, da hell?), but really, the whole thing made so little sense that all I came away with was OHNOEZ FROGS!
And oh, when it came to incoherent da-hell-itude, The Stuff had it beat. It was clearly aiming for parody, and certainly there are aspects of zombie movie as well as Pod People-type movies here. Several characters were being played as caricatures. But the editing overall was just random--and there wasn't enough Funny to make a real parody out of it.
If nothing else, too, The Stuff wins for its male lead telling everybody how he's called "Mo' Rutherford" because how every time anybody gives him money, he always wants "mo". Grounds for punching, the first time the lead character opens his mouth: WINNAH!
Meanwhile, we took a crack at the incorrectly-rented Deathbed from 2002, not to be confused with Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.
solarbird and I were hanging in there even through the boring sex scenes--but flashbacks of child molestation, on camera? NOT COOL. This movie is therefore soundly disqualified from competition.So tomorrow, we'll see if Death Bed: The Bed That Eats can take down Against the Dark and The Stuff!