BFFN 2: Revenge of BFFN
May. 15th, 2008 06:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annathepiperSome of y'all will have noted that on Tuesday, I had me Take 2 of the biopsy that was originally scheduled for the first. This afternoon, ever so conveniently timed to happen right during the first morale event we've had on my floor in months, I got the call with the results.
Long story short: DCIS, round 2.
I'd say I'm infuriated, aggravated, pissed off, and all of these things would be true, but honestly, I'm just tired. This makes it official: six years in a row of medical crap. I don't even have enough energy at this point to really work up more than a token level of pissed-offedness, despite the icon.
Spoke with two different doctors on my way out of the ship party, since they were willing to talk to me over the phone and I wanted answers now.
Here's what they had to say, as best as I understand it.
Question #1 that I had was "help me understand how this happened given that I just had eight weeks of radiation therapy".
Dr. Taylor didn't want to commit to a solid answer on that, but had two scenarios he was speculating about. One was, there was something in there that got missed since it was in front of the main excision area that Dr. Towbin did before, and that something somehow managed to survive getting zapped for eight weeks. The other, this is something new that has managed to take aggressive hold since the radiation. It's also possible that some combination of these two scenarios has happened. Either way, this is a rare and unfortunate occurrence. Not entirely unheard of--but apparently I get to be one of the few people that falls into the narrow band of probability here. Joy.
Question #2, "does this new thing have anything to do with the smaller problem area that was identified before but which at the time was deemed not a problem?"
The short answer to this is "not exactly". It's apparently very near to where the papilloma was identified before, although it is not the papilloma itself. What I'm hearing out of this though is that that general area was in a potential pre-problem state at the time and that it's just gone and decided to be a problem now. Glee.
Question #3: "what's the next step?"
Dr. Taylor was pretty much point blank firm about recommending a mastectomy at this point. He said that if it were a family member of his (and he's apparently had two family members go through breast cancer, so he's got some personal family experience to draw on here as well as professional), he'd be making that recommendation. The main issue of concern here being, if I've got something going on that's badassed enough to survive a generous lumpectomy and eight weeks of zappage, we can no longer fuck around. Not if we want to keep this from getting any more aggressive.
We also agreed that I should get a mammogram done of my left breast ASAP, just to verify that nothing has tried to get uppity over there. This will help nail down whether I'm going to be looking at a single or a double mastectomy here--though right now, to be perfectly honest, I'm feeling very inclined to just say 'fuck it' and have both of them off. I'm tired of this shit, and I don't want to go through rounds 3 and 4 of DCIS on the left and be all lopsided in the meantime and have to wear prosthetics.
But right now I'm too cranky to really make that decision, and will deal with it more rationally after the mammogram.
Tonight, there will be booze, 'cause really, if anything warrants getting plastered, this is it.
Long story short: DCIS, round 2.
I'd say I'm infuriated, aggravated, pissed off, and all of these things would be true, but honestly, I'm just tired. This makes it official: six years in a row of medical crap. I don't even have enough energy at this point to really work up more than a token level of pissed-offedness, despite the icon.
Spoke with two different doctors on my way out of the ship party, since they were willing to talk to me over the phone and I wanted answers now.
Here's what they had to say, as best as I understand it.
Question #1 that I had was "help me understand how this happened given that I just had eight weeks of radiation therapy".
Dr. Taylor didn't want to commit to a solid answer on that, but had two scenarios he was speculating about. One was, there was something in there that got missed since it was in front of the main excision area that Dr. Towbin did before, and that something somehow managed to survive getting zapped for eight weeks. The other, this is something new that has managed to take aggressive hold since the radiation. It's also possible that some combination of these two scenarios has happened. Either way, this is a rare and unfortunate occurrence. Not entirely unheard of--but apparently I get to be one of the few people that falls into the narrow band of probability here. Joy.
Question #2, "does this new thing have anything to do with the smaller problem area that was identified before but which at the time was deemed not a problem?"
The short answer to this is "not exactly". It's apparently very near to where the papilloma was identified before, although it is not the papilloma itself. What I'm hearing out of this though is that that general area was in a potential pre-problem state at the time and that it's just gone and decided to be a problem now. Glee.
Question #3: "what's the next step?"
Dr. Taylor was pretty much point blank firm about recommending a mastectomy at this point. He said that if it were a family member of his (and he's apparently had two family members go through breast cancer, so he's got some personal family experience to draw on here as well as professional), he'd be making that recommendation. The main issue of concern here being, if I've got something going on that's badassed enough to survive a generous lumpectomy and eight weeks of zappage, we can no longer fuck around. Not if we want to keep this from getting any more aggressive.
We also agreed that I should get a mammogram done of my left breast ASAP, just to verify that nothing has tried to get uppity over there. This will help nail down whether I'm going to be looking at a single or a double mastectomy here--though right now, to be perfectly honest, I'm feeling very inclined to just say 'fuck it' and have both of them off. I'm tired of this shit, and I don't want to go through rounds 3 and 4 of DCIS on the left and be all lopsided in the meantime and have to wear prosthetics.
But right now I'm too cranky to really make that decision, and will deal with it more rationally after the mammogram.
Tonight, there will be booze, 'cause really, if anything warrants getting plastered, this is it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:02 am (UTC)Cathy
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:11 am (UTC)Aw, hell.
Date: 2008-05-16 02:12 am (UTC)But I wouldn't rush into the dual ectomy; as you said, you're not in the frame of mind right now to be making such decisions. Besides, uhm, it would ruin a golden opportunity to pass yourself off as an Amazon! How are you at archery?
(This would be my lame "you gotta laugh" attempt at humor. Ar ar?)
Good luck kicking this thing's ass for good this time.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:17 am (UTC)Re: Aw, hell.
Date: 2008-05-16 02:19 am (UTC)I daresay
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:21 am (UTC)I tend to agree with your doctor and your initial impulse: get rid of them both.
Look at it this way. You can get all healed up and then, if you feel like it, pick out brand new boobies later. ;D
Lots of positive, healthy thoughts from here, sweetie.
*more hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:30 am (UTC)Re: Aw, hell.
Date: 2008-05-16 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:44 am (UTC)*HUGS* you and Dara
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:53 am (UTC)Sending hugs, snugs, prayers and every good vibe I've got your way, hun.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:54 am (UTC)*snugs*
Date: 2008-05-16 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 02:58 am (UTC)*HUGS* Get plastered, deal tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:06 am (UTC)Just don't give up.
Love you!
Date: 2008-05-16 03:10 am (UTC)Re: Aw, hell.
Date: 2008-05-16 03:15 am (UTC)I noted the coincidence of your acquaintance; I thought I'd noted it in your direction, but maybe not...
So you get jam sessions, and I just get to read stuff. Dadgum geography.
Re: Aw, hell.
Date: 2008-05-16 03:22 am (UTC)As for geography, yeah, the distance sucks, but the whole reason both of us moved out here was to escape the amazingly sucktastic weather y'all have been having lately.... and frankly 3624 miles is not too far to go. (That was the final mileage on the moving van....)
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:28 am (UTC)I'm so sorry, suck. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but YAY for all of this early detection and monitoring.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-16 03:29 am (UTC)to your long life and health, and whatever it takes to get you there.
*hugs you hard*